I have been missing some people lately, i doubt they will read this, actually i doubt somebody will but I like expressing myself writing too so...here it goes:
I miss D....one of my best friends....it is not that I dont see him lately (i have seen him very few due to problems at his place) but i miss the way he was...i think he is bored of me ...not speciafically of me but of life...and there is nothing I can do about it, i have tried....but it wont work...i feel the lace we had has become weaker...and that makes me so sad...because I love him....and I feel problem is off my hands...it is horrible when that happens.....it makes me feel useless...
this last thing also happens with my other best friend Cody....I love him to death....and he has horrible problems at home and is not able to be here for a while.....my worst nightmares are of him not coming back anymore....finding something better to do...i dont think that will actually happen...but ...i will miss him so much...there is nobody like him.....
I feel betrayed by some people also...but of course i am an adult and I HAVE to understand i am dealing with kids, so i dont blame them...do i?
Soemtimes I feel soo lonely here...people think i am so popular and rich.....yes everyone knows me....but nobody really cares, i mean they think they do...but they are so superficial....nobody takes the time really to care...at least not the way I do with the people I REALLY care....
So yes many times even i have 20 pms everytime i enter....none is really fOR me....they are actually for asking me something or just keeping in touch with a short Hi how are you? that's all...
I understand the less you talk about your porblems the more the people will love you....who likes a friend that is always complaining or suffering, even those people annoys me....but....I am not always sad...mostly i am very positive and try to help....i wish i found somebody who really cares.
Another point is the typical....as I am married the people think i do not exist, as soon as they find out they evade me or dont talk to me...or dont pay attention to me (yes u will say i am crazy for saying this...but the only ones that paya ttention are the bastards that even knowing i am married are still around looking for something...the rest is just like thinking well Trin is invisible since i cant have her...)
what's wrong with the world? I mean you cannot love a friend? It is so heavy the crown you are putting on my head, you realize that?
Sorry about bothering you guys with this if you get to read it.
 Trinitydoll · Fri Feb 09, 2007 @ 11:16pm · 2 Comments |
