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an old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the docks once more for old times sake. he hires a prostitute and takes her up to a room. he's going at it as best he can for a guy his age. the old sailor askes "how am i doing?" the prostitute replies "well sailor your're doing about 3 knots." "3 knots?" he replies, "whats that supposed to mean?" She says "your knot hard, you're knot in, and your knot getting your ******** money back. rofl ninja
 Anamaki Ronso · Sun Apr 29, 2007 @ 01:26am · 2 Comments |
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Alright theres a married couple and one day the wife aask her husband to change a light bulb he said i ain’t no electrian. later that day she ask him to fix a squeaky door and he said i ain’t no carpenter. that evening she was trying to go the store but the car needed oil so she asked her husband to put some oil in the car and he said i ain’t no mechanic and went to work. after he left a man came by and asked her what was the matter after she tolded him he said well i can fix all of that but u have to do something for me she said what he said u can have sex with me or bake me a pie. so after he left her husband came home and noticed everthing was fixed he asked his wife how everthing got fixed after she told him he asked so which did u do and she said i ain’t know betty crocker. rofl burning_eyes ninja
Anamaki Ronso · Sun Apr 29, 2007 @ 01:24am · 0 Comments |
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A husband and wife are having sex upstairs with the window open when a bumblebee flies in the window and into the wife’s v****a. The man and the woman freak out and decide to go to the emergency room. When they finally get to see a doctor, he says that his plan is to put honey on the tip of his p***s, to start having sex with the woman, and then to attract the bee and pull out his p***s along with the bee. After a minute the husband and wife agree to the plan. The doctor starts having sex with the wife. At first the mood is still calm, but after a couple of minutes the doctor starts groping the wife’s breasts. She starts moaning and screaming along with the doctor. The husband yells, "Wait a minute! What the hell do you think you are doing doctor?" and the doctor replies, "change of plan buddy, I’m gonna drown this son of a b***h" rofl ninja burning_eyes
Anamaki Ronso · Sun Apr 29, 2007 @ 01:23am · 1 Comments |
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Applying for a Job at the CIA |
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A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and theres a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a woman, but only one position was available.
The day came for the final test to see which peson would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow our instructions whatever the circumstances," they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The man looked horrified and said, "You cant be serious! I could never shoot my wife!" "Well," said the CIA man, "youre definitely not the right man for this job then."
So they brought the second man to the same door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained to the second man. "Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes; then the door opened. The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot her; I just couldnt pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess Im not the right man for the job."
"No," the CIA man replied, "You dont have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Now they only had the woman left to test. They led her to the same door to the same room and handed her the same gun. "We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances; this is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him." The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing, one shot after another for 13 shots. Then all hell broke loose in the room. They heard screaming, rashing, and banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes; then all went quiet.
The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didnt tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat the son of a b***h to death with the chair!" ninja burning_eyes rofl
Anamaki Ronso · Sun Apr 29, 2007 @ 01:22am · 1 Comments |
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