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Well, it's been a long time gaia, but I just got tired of all the drama with 'change' you kept having, so I came back to check it out, see if you guys finally fixed everything, and to see if I'm here to stay again or not..

Anyway, life for me, is good.
A while ago I did something different, well, I had a large group of friends and I just sort of.. left. It wasn't anything I really planned out, or ever really thought about to much before had, I just didn't go there again. I just felt one day, that I wasn't part of that, that I didn't want to be. Honestly, I really got tired of all the fake drama, and really quite a few of the people. I even found myself in a way, feeling hatred to a few of them for what they did after I left, or became. My life was just to complicated, and I hate not knowing, I like having a clear line between ally, and the rest of the world, I believe in close friendships and bonds, and well, all those people, where just to fake. They just always sided with me for, well, I don't know why. And well, everyone just seemed to get even more corrupt after I left. One got crazy obsessive over her ex, and now tries to go out tagging at night, pretty much just trying to raise hell to cover up a broken heart. One sold herself off like a cheap whore to someone who I actually, crazy me, felt respect to. Actually, I think that's really the only thing that affected me. All the people in the group where new, within a couple years of knowing, he had actually earned one of my highest levels of respect, I really, you could say, thought much of him. Well, now I guess I just seem them as cheap, yeah.
I know this may look wrong, but of course I don't mind. I think one of my favorite moments of it all was one I called 'Otter' tried getting mad and asking why I never go there, inside I started laughing, because it was never my job to go there. She tried getting mad saying we we're all friends and that if I even cared, I would go there.
Hello? Did you think maybe I was having troubles in life, that it's not all about you?
Maybe my world was falling, falling apart. To many pieces coming together, forming something far to complex and painful. That I had to pull back to see it all,watch it all burn to hell. Of course, only 2 tried to reach me.
1) Who made it painful how hard she tried to dominate my life again, by making 'demands.' She used sympathy and 'missing you' as a weapon. Yet she never stopped to wonder why I did it, that i needed to. And what didn't help, was all she would do was insult my boyfriend, Chinchilla, (who didn't understand what was going on, but respected it and was trying) none stop. I really don't care how high someone was on my 'friends list.' If someone is insulting another for no legit reason, just to throw em, I can have no respect for them. Done out of emotion? No, it was a restraining dominate, which came back to hurt you later on, in another relationship.
2) Who actually, she accepted what I was doing, and I believe is the closest to understanding why. Cessy really did show her support and understanding of it all, and quickly slide into my current lifestyle.xD
Interesting hm? How out of about, 16 people at that time, only 1 was able to show that she was a close friend, And, I'd like to note, it was the one that joined the group about a month or two beforehand. Not like the rest of the group that was together for 1,2, some 3 years.

M'kay.

I still call a few friends, just not in the context of how I use the word friend. I've learned to pick up the more popular, social definition of it.

And before you think I was being some bish, and just left to 'test' and see who follows,
No.
That's not what I did at all.
I made decision based on what was happening to me in my life, and acted upon it. I expected nothing from them, and mentally build a straight wall between it all. Made myself a new life, blank slate. They where the ones that stirred up hell and expected, some demanded, that I come back, I only made a comment about following me, to myself, AFTER they made it look like some sort of duty of mine to go back. It wasn't. And how can you expect something from someone if you do nothing? You need to put in a little to get some.

Fact is, while I'm still dealing with what I have to, life in general has gotten a lot better, and I'm a lot happier. Things just keep looking up. Life is slowing down a bit for me, and I'm able to enjoy it all in a different way. I prefer what I have now.
I spend my days pretty much without a schedule (outside of school, and basic house rules, all standard.). I usually spend them with mi novio, randomly deciding where to eat, grabbing food, and eating where we please. My favorite spot I have to say, would have to be this nice little tree by a gate. I probably prefer it since every now and then, someone will come by just to sit and talk to us, or to ask for my opinion or some advice on something. I really love it. Just, my own silent little world, place, dream. Where people will come to me, and I get to listen to their stories, dreams, life, all their little concerns and ideas, and how they honestly want my opinion, my advice..

I hope it's some foreshadowing in my life, and events to come.

I've already got my acceptance letter to Humboldt State University of California.
I'll get to go up to the Redwoods, if not my favorite, one of my most prefered places to be. Actually, it will be near a friend I met over gaia.xD
Life, is gonna be interesting.

Well, this was a bland entry.o_o; but I just woke up, I'm to lazy to make it creative.=P
Later.. 8]