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I'm Me... Is that Ok?
This is just a bunch of random writtings that I'll post... I do like comments but you don't have to if you don't want to... but again I LOVE comments!♥
Yeah so a lot to say.... Dumped Max finally after four years and two months. I felt bad at first, then he did his usual stuff and up until recently made my summer crap and made me miserable as usual. Now that it's done and over with, he's dug himself a huge hole with some people that's gonna be impossible to try and get out of.
After two years of friendship, my best gay straight friend ( don't ask, it's just an inside joke) Ricky asked me out as we watched some pre-fourth of July fireworks on the the third of July and we are now dating. It's great being with him. We don't get to talk all the time but his family loves me and he loves me and we know each other so well that fighting is not a possibility. It a weird change saying he's my boyfriend and not best guy friend, but I'm getting used to it and I love telling that to people.
Reactions to the news so far has for the most part been relieved. For instance I don't know how many times we've been told it's about time or that they were beginning to think that we were never gonna get together. Kinda funny that all but a few of his friends knew we were gonna get together even though neither one of us knew it. He'd hoped it would happen, though I'm sure not quite this way, but I'm glad the break up with Max was so messy that it drove me nuts because it's made me cling that much more to him though if Max keeps up making these rumors nothing goods gonna come of it for Ricky or I.
I think it's safe to say this. I mean it's only been a month, but we've been so close for two years that it doesn't feel like it's been that short of time. I love Ricky. I love him more then I ever loved Max. I mean don't get me wrong, or get the wrong idea, I loved Max. I loved him very much, it was just that I didn't love how he treated me and how everything was forced with him. Ricky held my hand for like two seconds and it sent electric currents all over my skin, my heart and stomach jumped at the feel, there were millions of butterflies in my stomach and I was in total heaven. I never once actually felt like that with Max because he'd spend weeks nagging me to do something for him because he wouldn't man up and do it. Ricky has kissed me on the cheek before, just to see if I'd really freak out like I said I would, which I just ended up blushing about and feeling guilty about because I didn't just want one kiss on the cheek. He's not pushy like Max and in this relationship I don't have to worry or be the man, I get to relax and be me.
It's sorta funny. Our whole relationship reminds me of a book or movie to be totally honest. It's also kinda funny because every book I've ever read that's talked about people falling in love, it was always described to feel the same way which I laughed at since when I fell for Max it hadn't felt like that, but now it does and I laugh about it a lot and I'm drinking up every moment of it.
Ricky is everything I've ever wanted in a guy. He's a good listener, cares about me, puts me first to everything and everyone, is a good Christian boy so there's no pressure, the only thing that drives me nuts about him is that he won't kiss me yet, he understands me no matter what and he's someone that I can open up to without trying and he knows how to give personal space as well as what the word "no" means. He's perfect and I love him!
I LOVE RICKY! ♥♥♥♥♥♥


Goddess Of The Impossible
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Goddess Of The Impossible
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