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i feel this darkness
everytime i awake to the day
its churning, searing, with lust and desire.
the desire to lose its mind in a fanasty


as i watch people get drugged
and get high losing themselves in a fanasty
the desire grows and is roaring with want
the want to lose its self in a fantasy a dream


im not the only one with the desire inside
im sitting in my dads truck
watching my sister and dad talk
she cant keep herself balanced
she is too lost in her fantasy


the desire has already taken over her
her life is a total wreck, but she doesnt know
she is to lost in her want. her fantasy
its too late for her. she is gone


as i sit and watch the news
another teenager has died in a car crash
she died cause she was high
she died in her fantasy


as im watching the news of her death
i imagine her death
but instead of her body on the ground
i see mine. lying on the ground


i see myself covered in blood
my eyes empty with no life
i see myself in a fantasy
my desire is pleased of the image


as im laying in my bed
i can feel my desire growing stronger
wanting to be free of its barrier
to get high and be lost in a fantasy


tears are running down my face
like a trail of never ending pain
i dont know if ill be able to control it anymore
i dont think i can control it anymore


as i am crying of pain
the desire is fighting
fighting to be free so it can control me
so it can be lost in a fantasy


im crying and begging
im begging for it to stop
im trying to control it but it is too strong
as i lay in my bed, crying with tears of sorrow
i ask myself

how long can i control this monster inside of me?