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My random thoughts and stories READ IT!! I COMAND U TO READ IT!! My Journal will manly be bast on my feelings though my days on gaia. There will be good day and bad days..lol But there will manly be good (i hope)lol. My Journal will consist of my feelings for my friends who have moved... My b/fs or g/fs and ec

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The Lullaby
I feel my death creeping closer and closer to me as I stand on the edge of this bridge waiting for my fast and horrible fait. I am scared but...I have nothing in my life to live for. My friends hate me for something ridiculous I did, and I have no one to call my own. So I ask myself "What is there in my poor little life left to live for?" my answer is "Nothing." There is nothing to live for. So now I spread my arms out ready to jump to the end of my life as it seams. I close my eyes not holding anything back, then I jump but...
I’ve fallen, but not into the water but into someone’s arms, then I noticed. It was Him.

First Day
"Bye mom, bye David" I wave good bye to them both as my older sister Angela, and I get out of the ca to wait at our bus stop. It is finally my first year going to high school, and I am very excited, but also kind of scared. Angela has told me many of many things about high school. I just hope I don’t die, but I may possibly cry. And I hope maybe I might find someone to possible love thus year because I never have had any luck with the guys because of my average looks. Like my average size body, maybe its my tan skin color from going out side allot, or maybe its my brownish blond hair or brown eyes. Or its because of my name, my name is one of the most common names you will find out there and it is Stephanie, Yes my name is Stephanie and I am fourteen going on fifteen on October first.
So less talk about me and lets talk about my family little bit. There is first my mom Brenda, and my wonderful Step Dad David. And along with my mom re-marrying I got two sisters Angela and Amy. Angela is the oldest of 17 and Amy is the youngest of 13 right at the edge of being 14. Yes I have a huge family, (and I’m not also including my three dogs and a rabbit). And then there is my dads side. My dad has been remarried twice since he divorced with my mom. So now he is with my Step mom Barbara (who i am not to found of). And along came two babies later on. Their names are Bale and Colby, Colby is the oldest, he is now four and Bale the youngest is three. Oh yeah and I almost forgot to mention my step brother Tyler who is fourteen and well short (he treys pushing me around because he is a few months older than I) oh and did i mention he is 5/3 and I am 5/6(1/2)so I don’t understand why he wants to bos me around when he is so tiny compared to me.
"So Stephanie are you nerves for your first day of High School?" Angela asks, sitting a set across from me on the buss.
"Yeah i kind of am, I just hope I see a few of my friends this year, because I know allot of them moved to Clayton High (Clayton High is popular high school as well as Triple S or Smithfield Selma High School). I said this with an expression of sadness.
“Oh cheer up Stephanie you’ll be able to make allot of new friends. But if you changed the you looks you might make allot more.” She said this with a hopeing smile on her face.
“No way I like my looks cause it makes me feel like myself.”
Most people think I’m kind of wired in a way because of the way I dress. But what I mean is I like to wear kind of dark stuff, like black eyeliner, studded belts, converse, black nail polish, bracelets, and necklaces. And I am always getting the labels Gothic and Emo, but I’m not. If I do have a label its Myself and that’s all nothing else. My friends also get it to. But I mean my step mom even calls me Gothic and makes fun of me and I really do not like that.
The bus hit’s a bump and I am noticed out of my daydreaming to see that we have finally arrived at school. Its my first day of high school and I am very excited to see my friends again. I casually walk off the bus, then I see Dustin and Brandi my friends that Iv had for the longest time. As I walk over to them something catches my attention. It was a guy with bleach blond hair, when I look a him He is looking at me, and I noticed He has a right blue eye and a left brown eye. I am so shocked and amazed at his beauty and his pale light skin. Then I look away, but when I look back up he is still looking at me then…I ran into a pole and fell straight to the ground.
How embarrassing, my first day of high school and I have already done something stupid. But no one is laughing. “Did anyone see me or what??” I ask myself. The only people looking seemed to be Dustin, Brandi, and that Guy. But I cant get up I am still paralyzed with embarrassment. But when I look up I see that Guy with a smirk on His face and He is laughing to himself. Now I am completely frustrated, but Dustin comes over to me to help me up.
“You ok Stephy??” “Yeah I’m fine something just caught my eye that’s all.” Dustin hug me and we walk over to Brandi, but I look back to see if that Guy was still there but…He was gone.
“So how was your summer Stephy?” Dustin asked with his wonderful smile on his face.
“Well to tell you the truth it was really, really boring. The most exciting thing I did this year was go to my first concert with my friend Autumn. And I also worked some with my grandma to save up and get new shoes.” I smile then ask. “How about you guys was yours more fun than mine?”
“No not really.” Dustin said
“And how about yours Brandi?”
“Not at all mine was basically boring”
“Well anyways lets go to class before we get caught up in all the commotion, so who is your home bass Brandi?” “I don’t know how to pronounce her name let me see your schedule, and then she has a huge smile on her face. “Sweet you have the same classes as both Dustin and I.” “Alright that’s awesome.” I have a huge smile on my face and then an evil smirk.
“So Dustin, Brandi our we going to be the troublesome three this year?” “Hell yeah we are!” Dustin said this with the same smirk as me. “How about you Brandi do u want to join into our group?” “Oh yeah believe me I am in!”

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