Its hard to let go.
Yes, we all have been there and experienced something or someone we had to let go.
People say that its easy, deep down no its not.
When that something or someone enters your life it will go and leave you with
a big whole in your heart. Thats why I dont get attached to many people. When you have so much happyness in you that you think nothing can go wrong, than your wrong. Something will always find a way to destroy it.
I learned many things these past years. I learned, you will never lose by loving, you always lose by holding back. My last boyfriend, I didn't really care much about him for some reason. I don't really know what was I doing. I was playing him.
I thought to myself maybe I'm just using him to get over another guy.. I'm still young. Even though I have my whole life to get the guy I want, I kinda want to find him early. I wanna be loved and love a person so much. I'm just wondering if he's for me. Wondering who am I. I hate the feeling that I'm lonely. I see a lot of people walking around smiling and holding hands with there lover. I just keep asking myself when will it be me? When will I be in the spotlight hearing people say how a cute couple we are.
Every now and then I cry at night. How stupid I was letting a chance go. Edwin was one of the chances, I let him go.
Its been a year now, I moved and now I'm over him. Though inside, somewhere, he is still in my heart. People you love come and go. They leave scars in your heart.
Maybe I'm just looking for a person so I wont be lonely? Misery loves company. How did I get by? I just smile and pretend nothing happened. Though I'm tired of doing it over and over again.
I just need to breath and let go.
