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Howdy...
I'm waiting for things to download, so I thought I'd take the time to write things randomly online in hopes of international stardom or a free sandwhich. I've got some salted peanuts... they rock, but my mouth is dry. Nevermind, I forgot I had a Vault. Yummy... Oooo! I can talk politics! Yay! Well, for those of you who don't know me, I'm gonna be President of the United States... and subsequently take over the world... First, for the Presidency... I plan on keeping my campaign budget in the early thousands... but that's just for souveniers and food and stuff. I need a friend with a video camera... I will make dozens of funny commercials and travel America asking for free commercial spots from local cable networks... I know, not very flashy... but I bet you $20 it would get me noticed... If I can get enough commercial spots, I don't have to spend millions on publicity. I can still make public appearances... I just need to tell people that I'm running for president. "OMG! A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE IS HERE! GET THE FINGERPAINTS!!!" Plus, I'm sure by the time I'm old enough, people will be ready for a lighthearted dude in the white house. I'd try to eliminate taxes completely by making the government compete in it's own economy. I'd throw huge lan parties, and I'd take a proactive approach at solving America's problems. You got a problem in your local government? Wizbang to the rescue!!! You got some problems with gang activity in your neighborhood? I'll go ninja on those monkey-lovers! You having problems with a pickle jar? Secret service ninjas, ATTACK!!!!!! I would nix the whole suit and tie persona of the governmenty peoples, and replace it with FRIDAY!!! ... I need a vice president, and a whole cabinet... and i think i get to chose those, as long as the governmenty people agree. I also need to replace the armed forces with robots, so our people stop dying. We can control them from America and still beat up any foriegn fart-munchers that wanna start a war, but ultimately, i would rather avoid war. If that means going over there myself and challenging the enemy country's leader to a dual, so be it. I'd also push for free trade... like, total free trade. No Imprt or export taxes, if other countries have cheap labor, so be it! If we can't compete in the worldwide economy, then we suck. I understand wanting to preserve ourselves, but we're all human! Why not act as one big team? Team Earth!! "With your powers combined, I am Captain..." ... sorry... had to... Anyway... If I'm planning on ruling the world, i gotta bring it together. I can wait til it's under my control to unite everyone... but if I can bring people together first, things would be easier. And don't think I'm obsessed with everyone being all huggy and picture perfect... I'm a big supporter of natural segregation! If people don't like eachother, one of them should grow up and go somewhere else. If everyone just accepts live and let live theory, we'd be better off.I plan on having an extremist laissez fair attitude, so I still expect crime to be around, but punishment is on a community basis until they can't handle their own power or the criminals get too powerful. For all criminals, instead of going to jail or being killed by their neighbors, should get plenty of chances... unless it was a particularly bad crime. Otherwise, we could just find a place for them that agrees with there reasoning. So, if they think killing for a reason is ok, I'll find a community that might agree with them. If that system gets popular, hopefully people that aren't agreeing with their neighbors will come to my people to find another home before killing the people they don't like. All decision making would be by my knights, who could rule over different regions so i didn't have to try to watch the whole world at once. But anyway... I'd have a cool jail system for the repeat offenders. It would be like gladiator battles for either "death row" quality prisoners, or normal prisoners (small crime people) who want to fight in those battles instead of wasting away in a crappy cell. Those battles would serve as entertainment, money makers for my government, and so that the victims or their respective families could get the pleasure of seeing the guy who committed the crime. Sure, it's barbaric, but people anymore would like it. Well, tell me what you think... Would you vote for me for president? Would you want to watch criminals fighting eachother, gladiator style? What would you do for a Klondike bar?
ninja Toast...