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Confide in Me by Angtoria |
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I stand in the distance
I view from a far
Should I offer some assistance
Should it matter who you are
We all get hurt by love
And we all have our cross to bear
But in the name of understanding now
Our problems should be shared
Confide in me, Confide in me
Confide in me, Confide in me
I can keep a secret
And throw away the key
But sometimes to release it
Is to set our children free
We all get hurt by love
And we all have our cross to bear
Confide in me, Confide in me
Confide in me, Confide in me
 samurai89 · Thu Feb 28, 2008 @ 01:09am · 0 Comments |
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I find these days of living to be rather dull and uneventfull. College is supposed to create a whole fun new world, but it has not for me yet done so. All that is happening is that I am becoming increasingly less adamant about my choice to pursue psychiatry. I wish to write, for writing is apparently the only thing of which I show somewhat brilliant abillities in. Though my spelling skills may be lacking a minute bit.
Writing is what I have always been doing. I learned how to write and have never stopped. It is how I survive. It is how I stand a chance against the swirly that is my mind. Without this ability to use words as an organizational tool, I probably would be dead already. My thoughts are so murderous, so painful, so destructive, so pathetic.
samurai89 · Fri Sep 07, 2007 @ 08:26pm · 0 Comments |
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Some thoughts for the present |
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I find myself wondering about relationships once again. Through my observations of my friends and others, I have noticed a lot. Relationships bring both pain and joy. People now-a-days are far to centered on the pain they bring which is how I explain the break-ups and divorces. A real relationship is being able to persevere through the pain to get to the glorious joy that will inevitably appear. To those of you whom are reading this and wondering "how should he know? He has been single for a year and has only had two relationships.". I notice these things because of my absolute failure in said relationships and because I am not currently in one. One can only see certain things from the outside perspective. Most people are completely unaware of the problems in their relationships until it is far too late.
People seem to wish to, instead of ending it, stay in a relationship that leans more to the bad than the good. As said before all relationships have bad in them, but if everything is bad and painfull the majority of the time then it is time for a new relationship. Fear, I believe, is what prevents people from dropping bad relationships; no one wants to be alone. What one must realise is that you are never truly alone no matter how much it feels so. One always has friends or at least followers. So if your relationship is so bad but you are afraid to let it go because of fear, just let go of that fear and end it. There is no reason to continue suffering when not necessary.
Why do my thoughts always go to such things as to what causes me the most problems in my attempts to understand?
I have found someone for a possible relationship and now I pursue her. I might not be the best "asker outer" but I am a damn skilled flirtatious b*****d and I will not give up on her just because my self esteem is low.
CHARGE!!!
samurai89 · Wed Sep 05, 2007 @ 03:24pm · 2 Comments |
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Paid in Full by Sonata Arctica |
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I believe this fits my relationship with Marie pretty well
~I was nowhere near ready when all it ended
So I hoped we could find a new day, cannot live without you
You gave me the chance, time and again, in vain
Now my feelings for you, every tear, every smile, paid in full
Break the chain, but no longer can I take the pain
It's hard for me to love myself right now,
I've waited, hated, blamed it all on you
Needed to be strong, yet I was always too weak
So I can only blame myself for this state we are in
I will take what you have for me now, it's not too late
Did you change? I did too. Love can grow from the last grain
It's hard for me to love myself right now,
I've waited, hated, blamed it all on...
You...
I need you...less and less...
Every day feeds this moral decay
Yet I have grown to love you even more
I fall back, and I turn another cheek.
You mouth the words you're not ready to speak
You're scared of me now; no I never had a clue
That I'd become so much stronger than you.
I will take - what you have - for me now, if it's not too late
If you like, I will leave; I will not miss the last train again
It's hard for me to love myself right now,
I've waited, hated, blamed it all on you...
It's hard for me to love your face right now
I'm waiting, hating, needing, being
Me...
I need you...less and less...(And Less)
Every day leads us farther away...
From that moment
It's hard for me to hate myself right now
Finally I'm understanding me
One day we may have all new me's and you's
But first I need to learn to love me too....~
samurai89 · Mon Sep 03, 2007 @ 07:07am · 1 Comments |
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Line in the Sand by Bleeding Through |
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7. Line In The Sand
The line is being drawing through my heart
Where conciving fires through our thoughts
You just like me and you just like me,
This is everything I wanted to tell you,
That I'm still in love with everything about you
And I feel the wreckage from everything you do,
And I'm tired of still waiting
If I told you the truth now would you still leave and take my heart?
And I still feel ugly but you're ugly just like me
If I showed you the truth now would you still leave?
Will you ever change?
But I still feel empty
Will I always lose this game?
This is everything I wanted to show you,
I'm no longer scared of anything about you
I live through the damage of the heart you took from me
And I'm tired of still wanting.
[x2:]
If I told you the truth now would you still leave and take my heart?
And I still feel ugly but you're ugly just like me
If I showed you the truth now would you still leave?
Will you ever change?
But I still feel empty will I always lose this game.
samurai89 · Sun Dec 03, 2006 @ 03:47pm · 0 Comments |
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huh Have not written in this in about forever |
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I have a little blue book I have been writing in some would call it a journal I call it a book of thoughts aka Swirly it is rather emo so I do not believe that I will post much of it on gaia because then people would get all worried and then they would bother me in my solstice so oh well
I just thought that since my last entry was about eons ago that it was about time that I write in here again
and I also wish to say that many people appear to have abandoned Gaia for myspace
myspace is nice but you cannot play games and stuff with each other on myspace though with the comment thing they added to profiles gaia is somewhat trying to be more like myspace it is a lot like it except it is more interactive between people that do not know each other at all as compared to myspace where you have to be friends to interact on the most part
samurai89 · Tue Apr 25, 2006 @ 01:08pm · 0 Comments |
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what is love if what is thought to be mutual love fails,
the question that is in my head is what did I do to cause the end,
or is it truly me who was at fault on this issue,
did I fail to provide her with what she needed to be happy,
was I unworthy of having her at my side,
or is it that my cowardice over-ruled the actions I wished to take,
the lips I longed to meet with my own were left unkissed due to my cowardice,
maybe my cowardice on that matter was ruled by the fact that I have never kissed ayone before,
but now she has walked away leaving me alone in my despair,
for now I am alone with no one
I must destroy the cowardice that rules over me with an iron fist
I must forget about complete and total shyness
I must become that of which can hold on to the ones they love
I must change for the better or perhaps for the worse
samurai89 · Tue Jan 17, 2006 @ 01:16pm · 0 Comments |
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RE RE RE RE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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you said I should right about you so here is my best try. heart
Re you are a short skinny beautiful brown haired girl
your favorite singer is Alanis Morissette, dont like her that much myself but hey to each their own, You enjoy you mathematic classes and despise history, almost the opposite of me but opposites attract so there, your favorite colors are dark red/ or lime green, same here except for lime green, you like mashed potatoes but hate meat as much as a PETA person does, I like both mashed potatoes and meat, your full first name is Marie, your the only person I know who would name a pet goose green, you say a boat that you build is unseaworthy, your nearly drowned multiple times, hey thats like me before I became the shark I am in the water, you love the rain, same here in fact I was in it today, between the powers of flight and teleportation you would rather teleport, I would prefer the freedom of flying but hey if I need to get any where fast you could teleport me there, your definition of love is caring for another deeply, you wont tell people your middle name, I cant figure out why I mean it is just a name, your eyes are green/brown but you prefer green, green eyes are pretty but it doesnt matter what color they are to me, your favorite movies are IRobot and Bourne Identity, I like both of those as well, your favorite animals are wolves or......housecats, I like wolves as well I like having cats as pets but I am more of a dog person, you sleep with a stuffed animal, awwwwwwww, you would rather walk around barefoot than wear shoes, I walk around barefoot all the time, you prefer vanilla over chocolate, opposite for me even though I do enjoy vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup, you value friendship highly, so do I, you love me and I love you in return, your thoughts on abortion are that it rhymes with portion, hey that does rhyme blaugh , and You believe in True Love, What da ya know I do too.
that is what I write about you Re, I actually went into your journal and looked up some of the stuff, sorry I couldnt make a free verse poem about you cry
heart you
heart Ian
samurai89 · Wed Jun 29, 2005 @ 09:07pm · 3 Comments |
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