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I shouldn't be writing this...technically I shouldn't even be on the computer...I need to be doing the s**t load of homework that I've put off..... lazy a**. Anyway, It's raining out and all I can think about is grabbing my flip flops and making for the park... I love tha park at night... sometimes I sneak out when gran is sleeping and go sit on the swing sets and listen to the planes fly over head..... I'm so friggin preoccupied..... it's being to drive even me crazy... My thoughts are like the letters in a scrabble game... none of the words will come together long enough to make a thought. Sometimes i just sit and look..... not at anything in particular.... just people... I can't help but wonder if their lives are anymore fulfilling than mine. If they know some secret to life that I was left out on. Or our we all as lost as we look..... random... whatever. I hate thinking about graduation....it just freaks me out. He doesn't seem to be worried about graduation or college. Though to be fair he's never worried about ANYTHING. I can't help but wonder what will happen when the school year is over and we graduate. I don't want to lose him....we don't really talk about it. I usually just try to not to think about it... but it's hard not to when my heart swells every time I look at him and I cant help but wonder if he feels the same way... then I just want to slap myself...because the truth is either way the answer will scare me...right now more than anything i wish life had a pause button. it would make life soooo much easier... less painful. Damn. i didn't expect to feel this way...about anyone really...jokes on me, right? ...............I gotta do some homework.....maybe then I'll sleep.
 crystal wings of light · Thu Apr 12, 2007 @ 04:21am · 0 Comments |
