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wolf in me....
very good song....if you want to listen then search "our solemn hour" on you tunbe..
Sanctus Espiritus redeem us from our solemn hour
Sanctus Espiritus insanity is all around us
Sanctus Espiritus! Sanctus Espiritus! Sanctus Espiritus!

In my darkest hours I could not foresee
That the tide could turn so fast to this degree
Can’t believe my eyes
How can you be so blind?
Is the heart of stone, no empathy inside?
Time keeps on slipping away and we haven’t learned
So in the end now what have we gained?

Sanctus Espiritus, redeem us from our solemn hour
Sanctus Espiritus, insanity is all around us
[Our Solemn Hour lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

Sanctus Espiritus, is this what we deserve,
can we break free from chains of never-ending agony?

Are they themselves to blame, the misery, the pain?
Didn’t we let go, allowed it, let it grow?
If we can’t restrain the beast which dwells inside
it will find it’s way somehow, somewhere in time
Will we remember all of the suffering
Cause if we fail it will be in vain

Sanctus Espiritus, redeem us from our solemn hour
Sanctus Espiritus, insanity is all around us
Sanctus Espiritus, is this what we deserve,
can we break free from chains of never-ending agony?

Who’s this new voice? Ch.4

I sat beside Gen till she fell asleep, when I heard her light snores I walked into the front room to find Sam still here even though Billy had gone to bed. What did he want at this late of hour?
“Is some thing wrong Sam?” I asked a bit worried.
“I just wanted to tell you why she was so upset about the storm.” Sam said sitting down.
“Oh” I said as I sat down beside him.
“Yeah, the kid has been scared of thunder storms ever since her father kicked her out in one at the age of three. She sat at the end of the street for hours till someone that lived near them took her inside and got her dried off. The person didn’t do anything about it because he thought she figured out how to open the door and ran out. It kept on happening for the rest of the time she lived there. The storm brings back very dreadful memories for her, so I guess you have more to look out for now. Huh kid?” Sam said looking at the ceiling.
“I guess I do, I mean it’s not like I have enough to look after now huh?” I said laughing.
……………………………………………………………………………………………....
I walked into the bed room, after Sam left, and found Gen’s sleeping bag. I dragged it to the couch and laid down.
I thought about what Sam had said. How could a father just hate there child like that? Gen was an okay child, why beat her and yell at her for wanting you to love her?
Sam told me that Gen’s teacher and school mates really didn’t like her to be around them. He said that her fathers actions taught her that even though one is kind to another, they still deserve to be yelled at.
The children at her school didn’t want to be her friend, because Gen would always yell at them for the smallest thing, and sometimes just because she wanted to. Gen slowly started to get pushed away from anyone in her school.
When it was time to go home, though, she would always try to take as much time as possible to avoid getting home. When she started to get older, she would disappear, for weeks at a time, from school. The teachers stopped asking where she was and started to ignore her when she did show up.
That’s about when she showed up here, right after she turned. Her father was drunk one night when he came home from work, Gen had locked herself in her room but her dad had taken the door down. He cornered her with a smirk on his face, he started out with just words, but it soon went to him beating her.
It’s like she just snapped, then she changed. She pretty much shredded her father before running out of the house. She ran for days, till Sam heard her coming towards the reserve.
Her life must be great now compared to what she went threw, A pack of about twelve worrying over her, no one to actually hurt her in any way, shape, or form, and a nice home. Now that I think about it that’s how I lived all my life. I bet she sees me as the luckiest person on the earth.
I felt myself drift off to sleep, yet another dreamless night.
………………………………………………………………………………………………
I awoke early in the morning by a large crack of thunder. I slowly got up and walked to my room to find Gen was also starting to sit up. She looked at me with large water eyes. I scooped her up into my arms and sat on the bed. She dug her head into my shirt every time a large crack of thunder was heard. I smiled down at her and stroked her hair.
“Every thing is fine now, I’m here.” I kept on repeating. She would just nod and keep her face in my shirt. I knew I shouldn’t do this, but I couldn’t help it, she was just so terrified.
The storm slowly let up and it started to get light outside. It was too light today, which meant it was going to be somewhat sunny. She looked up at me and tried to get up, but I sat her back down. I wasn’t ready to get up yet. Gen sat in my lap till it was about eight-thirty. I let her get up and walk into the front room, I followed behind her.
We decided that it was a nice day to go to the beach, and we got ready. I took us to the beach Bella and I used to walk on. Gen and I walked to the waters edge.
“It’s very pretty today” she said looking at the small pebbles in the sand.
“Yeah” was I could get out. I saw Gen move out of the corner of my eye, I turned to see she was now behind me, with an evil grin. I felt two hands press into my back and I fell into the icy water. I got out of the water and looked at the now laughing Gen; the same evil grin came across my face as I picked her up and dropped her into the water. She quickly climbed out at looked at me. She got up and tried to push me in again, but she tripped over a rock and fell in, too. She fell onto my back. I looked up at her to get her to get off, but she just sat there.
Quil and Embry came walking up at that time.
“Oh, look at the two love birds!” Quil said.
I looked at Gen to see her reaction. I though she would jump up and kill Quil but she didn’t. She just sat in the water, her face a light pink.
“Quil just lay off.” I said.
“Sticking up for the younger one, eh’ Jacob?” Quil laughed.
“Shut up Quil” Gen growled, “Plus I’m not that much younger”
“Three years is not much younger?” Quil asked.
“At least it’s not fourteen years” she said. I knew what she was referring to; Quil’s imprint. The two year old Quil imprinted with. That was a low blow.
“That was something I couldn’t control” he growled.
“So?” she growled back.
They glared at each other for a long while before Embry broke the silence.
“So, who wants to go swimming?” he asked.
“It’s kind of late for that” Gen said holding her hands up. She slowly got up and came out of the water.
………………………………………………………………………………………………
Gen walked into the front room. It has been three months since the day we went swimming. In that time, Gen grew from four feet to six. She was about as tall as me now. She had to be taken out of school, though, as to not cause suspicion with teachers and classmates. I greeted Gen when she came into the kitchen; I was getting ready for school when she was just getting out of bed, the luck dog!
“Anything special on the agenda today?” I asked.
“Not unless you count cleaning special” she said half heartedly.
“Then there’s not much for you to do then?” I asked already knowing the answer.
“Nope” she said opening the refrigerator.
“Nothing at all that is special?” I asked again.
“Is this a game show? I said no!” she growled.
“Well at least I didn’t forget my birthday” I sighed. Gen looked at me with a puzzled expression till it came to her. The look on her face was priceless.
“That was today?” she said looking at the calendar.
“Who forgets there own birthday?” I asked in a teasing voice.
“People that don’t celebrate it!” she said looking at me coldly.
“You don’t celebrate your birthday?” I asked shocked.
“Not all of us want to grow up.” She said with a smile.
“I guess that’s true” I smiled back.
I guess wrong by thinking Gen would want presents, but I got her one. I insisted that she open it, and, after an hour of coaxing she finally opened it. She ripped the paper away to see I box.
“You shouldn’t have” she said with a confused voice and facial expression.
“It’s in the box!” I sighed.
She opened the box to find a small little bag.
“How many time have you wrapped this?” she asked.
“Last time, I promise!” I smiled.
She opened the bag to find a long, skinny, silver chain. Attached at the bottom was a wolf howling in a crescent moon. She looked, stunned, at the necklaces.
“I…I…this is…amazing!” she stuttered.
“I’m glad you like it!” I said
“Help me put it on!” she said handing me the long silver chain.
I clasped it around her neck and stared at it. It almost jumped out because of the deferens from the silver and her skin.
“Thanks Jake” she said hugging me.
“Your welcome” I said hugging back.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-End chapter-

next one...

Who’s this new voice? Ch.3

The day went by with nothing happening, but I did race Gen again. I lost again but she didn’t say much this time.
Sam did say though that the vampires where back to stay for a while, with there new addition with them. I got pretty tense when he said it, so Gen came over to ask what was wrong. Her worried face is so cute…no! I can’t think like that! She’s three years younger than me!
I decided that I needed a nice, long walk, and of curse, sense I am now the ‘older brother figure’ I had to take Gen. I know now why kids like to be the only one in the family.
When we got home it was about ten p.m., so I decided it was time for bed. Gen being the way she is she made a fuss, till she passed out on the couch. I carried her to my room, witch I didn’t have the heart to lay her on the floor, so I put her on the bed. I sat next to her and stared at the ceiling. Then I found myself dosing off.
………………………………………………………………………………………………
I awoke the next morning to find myself in the bed. I also felt two arms around my body when I turned my head Gen was hugging my like and oversized teddy bear. I scrambled out of her grasp and to the end of the bed, the thunk that I made when I fell off made Gen wake up. Her eyes shot open and she scrambled to sit up. She looked at the bed then me.
“What did you do?” she growled.
“Nothing…I swear! Its just I couldn’t lay you on the floor…and I must have lain down in the bed not knowing…I…I…” I stuttered. I knew my face was a bright red.
She stared at me trying to take it all in. “Okay” she finally said. Gen got up and lay down in the corner with her sleeping bag. I herd her snores a few minutes later.
I sighed and lay back down in the bed. I tried to think if I did try anything last night but all I could remember was falling asleep sitting down on the floor. Who put me in the bed?
I then smelled it, it was a faint smell but I could recognize it anywhere. The smell of Bella’s skin mixed with a very sweet smell. It made my nose hurt.
I walked out of my bedroom and walked all over the house trying to smell if she touched anything else. There was nothing but a note in the kitchen. It said:
Hey sleepy head! I bet you could smell me when you woke up. Well Edward said that he cleared it up with Sam that I could come and check up on you every once in a while. I figured you wouldn’t like to see me while I was like this so I came while you where asleep. How could you just sleep on the floor like that? I put you on the bed, I hope you don’t mind. And when did you get a sister? I figured you wouldn’t mind if I put you next to her. Hey! Guess what? Edward said you could come visit any time you wanted, I swear he’s trying to get me soft for something that’s going to happen. Billy’s waking up so I have to go.
- love,
Bella
I stared at the note in my hand. How could she just expect for me to forgive her? Was I expected to get along with Edward after what he did to Bella? No, I would talk to Sam. He would clear it up that I no longer wanted to associate with them.
When I heard my name being called I jumped. I wasn’t used to the quit, because I always knew when Billy or Charlie was approaching because of Billy’s wheels and Charlie’s loud foot steps. The pack never approached me from behind either.
“What Gen?” my voice cracked at the end.
“Is something wrong?” she asked in a whisper.
“Nothing you can help with” I said my voice all but a sobbing voice.
“Maybe I can” she said touching my shoulder.
I turned around quickly. “I said there was nothing!” I snarled. I saw her fall to the floor. Her face was filled with pain and fear.
“I was… just trying…to help” she stuttered. I saw her get up and run out the door.
“Damn it!” I yelled as I ran out the door after her.
I looked up into the sky to see that a large thunder storm was coming this way. I followed Gen’s sent till it started to rain. I felt it getting stronger and stronger. Then I heard the thunder, and saw the lightning. I continued to look for Gen; it took about three hours till I found her under a large tree. Her eyes were wide, and I swear she wasn’t breathing correctly.
“Gen?” I asked.
She looked at me, her eyes a fogged green, her face pale. I held out my hand to her, but she just looked at it. At that moment a huge thunder blast shot threw the sky, lightning not far behind it. She shot up at attached herself to me. She sobbed into my shirt as I hugged her. I picked her up like a toddler and carried her under the tree.
“Your fine now, calm down, please” I whispered into her ear. Her whole body was shaking. Her body was cold, witch I knew was not right. She was supposed to be the temperature I am. I stood up with her still in my hands and started the walk home.
On the home she started to calm down.
“Jacob?” she asked.
“Yeah?” I said.
“Thanks.” Was all she got out before we reached the little house.
I went inside to find that Billy had called every one to see if they had found us. They were all sitting in the front room. Sam shot out of his seat and ran over to us. He tried to pry Gen away from me, but she wouldn’t let go. He finally gave up and handed me a blanket. I wrapped it around us and sat down.
“What happened to make her run out of the house?” Billy asked.
“I snapped at her for being nice, I new I shouldn’t of but I did anyway.” I said in a sigh.
“I think she forgave you though” Quil said looking at Gen.
“I sure hope so.” I said looking down at the child clinging to my shirt. I smiled down at her when she buried her face into my shirt.
Soon everyone started to fan out of the house till there was no one but Sam left. He walked over to me and sat down.
“She seems to be getting attached to you.” Sam sighed.
“I hope she’s not too attached though.” I said in a low voice hoping not to wake her.
“She may be that attached though, and that’s what worries me. Your three years older than her and you both will not be growing, so that won’t help either.” He said looking at Gen.
“I would never do anything like that!” I half growled.
“Hey, calm down, that’s not what I’m talking about. What I’m saying is that if you do find someone your own age; how will she take it?” he asked.
“I don’t know” I sighed.
I looked at the clock to see it was almost midnight.
“I guess it’s time for this munchkin to go to bed” I said standing up. Gen opened her eyes and looked up at me.
“I don’t want to.” She said in a yawn.
“You don’t really have a choice, sorry” I said walking into my room. I unclasped her grip on my shirt and laid her down on the bed. I turned to walk out of the room when a hand grabbed my shirt.
“Don’t leave.” She whined.
I remembered when Bella did not want me to leave when I went to go fight. It brought back some hard memories but I sat down on the floor beside her and said “never.”

yeah i have ch. 2 up right now. I was kinda tired when i wrote it so it may be at bit.....not like the last one...


Who’s this new voice? Ch. 2

We both walked inside laughing. I noticed that Charlie went home. How long where we out there?
Quil came walking up” we thought you to got married and ran away together!” he laughed at our faces.
“Shut up Quil” Gen growled.
He instantly shut his mouth and wandered off. I guess Sam was right about Gen beating his a**.
“Gen that’s no way to speak to pack brotherin” Sam said.
“Pack brotherin my a**! You should see the way he treats me...” Gen went into a mini rant as I walked over to Embry. ‘Is she always this annoying?” I asked him.
Most of the time, but you should she her after she wins in a race against us all, witch is all the time, she gloating and yelling. God, it’s the worst. Hey maybe you should race her!” Embry said.
Gen was over at us in a flash when she heard the word ‘race’.
“Oh, can we? Please….please...please. Please. Please. Please!” she pleaded.
“I will if you shut up.” I said
She shut her mouth really quickly and started pulling my arm to go outside.
I sighed and got up, just to be followed by everyone else, including Billy.
‘Oh god, I’m going to have my a** handed to me in front of the pack.’ I thought. ‘This is going to be the worst’
Gen looked at me. “Foot or paw?” she asked looking serious.
“Foot I guess.” I said.
She drew a line with a stick of the race we were going to have to do. Threw the think trees, over a couple of logs, threw a few large puddles. It sounded easy.
We went to the starting line and got ready. When Sam said “ready. Set. Go.” We both took off like there was no tomorrow, but damn, she fast. She went threw the trees, barefoot may I add, like it was a flat field. The logs were like small sticks to her and I swear she was walking on water with the puddles.
When we got to the finish line I was not even in site when she finished. When I got there though, she let you know she won. Embry was right, and I hated gloaters.
I turned to walk off when she yelled” too embarrassed to stay for another round, chicken?” she laughed.
I turned around quickly, walked up to her smiling face and slapped her, very, very hard. Gen fell to the ground, a small cut on her cheek.
There was an eerie silence around us, but that silence was broken by a loud snarled. There was a blur of motion. Then I was pinned down by a large white wolf. It’s large, snarling muzzle inches away from my face. I felt shivers coming from inside myself as I changed into a large red-brown wolf.
I pushed Gen off me, and pushed her into a large tree. She got up off the ground a small cut over her eye, the blood turning her snow white fur a dark red. She rammed into me pushing me into a large boulder. A crack was heard as I fell to the ground. I was sure I had just broken my paw.
I changed back into a human as she walked off into the trees. I was not thinking about my hand then though. I was thinking about what was going threw her mind after we both changed.
An image of her father flashed threw her head. She thought of the words he used around her, ‘Mistake’ ‘unwanted’ and ‘hated’. She thought of the pain he had caused her when he was drunk, witch was every night. The scares and burses he had given her. I wanted to cry for her.
I stood up and went inside. I put on some close, fell into my bed, and fell asleep.
………………………………………………………………………………………………
I woke up to find a figure sleeping in the corner of the room in a sleeping bag. I walked over and found out it was Gen. I woke her up to see why she was sleeping in the corner.
“When I came to live here on the reserve I had nowhere to sleep, so Billy offered for me to sleep in your room. I made sure not to mess anything up so I guess that why you didn’t know.” Gen said.
“Well then maybe I can sleep on the couch from now on…”I said.
“No! I would never let you do that! I’m perfectly fine in the sleeping bags! Plus it was your room first so I can’t take it!” Gen said.
“I guess if you’re alright with it…”Jacob trailed off.
“I’m perfectly fine with it!” Gen exclaimed.
I walked out of the room, in just some pajama pants, to see all of the pack standing in the front room again. This time Leah came with them.
Gen ran from my room over to Leah. She looked at me with a death glare, as everyone else just stared.
I felt my face turn a light pink. “It’s not what you think.” I said holding my hands up.
“Yeah, were both still virgins.” Gen added.
“How do you know that?” I asked.
“You talk in your sleep” she said in a small chuckle. “It was really hard for me to go to sleep when you keep on moaning and saying them name…” I quickly walked over to her and covered her mouth. “Let’s not talk about that to the pack members, okay?” I whispered.
I felt teeth sink into my hand. “You bit me!” I said shaking my hand. “Oh god, it hurts!” I whined.
“Suck it up yeah big baby” Gen laughed.
I growled at her at turned to the pack, “Why are you guys here anyway?”
“We came to see if you guys were alright.” Sam said from the back of the room.
“We were hoping that you two didn’t rip each others head off before we could videotape it” Quil said from behind me.
“I’ll video tape you’re freaking…”
“Gen!” Sam growled.
Gen stuck her tong out at Quil. I swear she is a three year old, she certainly acts like one.
“But are you guys okay now?” Sam asked a bit hesitant.
“Yeah I think were fine now” I sighed looking at Gen, her smiling face turned toward Leah, both of them laughing at an unknown joke.

i will start typing the next one in a bit.

i think this took me long enough....more than three months XD
okay! this is a story i am writting right now.....it may suck a bit but it is my first one on choise!

Who’s this new voice?


My heart was pounding as I raced towards the little town of forks. It’s been several months since I’ve run away. I hoped Bella was no longer there, I don’t think I could control myself. I felt the butterflies in my stomach rise up to my throat .
As I got closer the reserve I could here the thoughts of my brothers.
“I see you have finally returned” said a very familiar voice. It was none other than Sam’s deep voice.
“Took you long enough” thought the voice of Quil.
“Where have you been?” asked Embry.
“Finally” thought Paul.
“Who’s this?” thought and unfamiliar voice.
“Remember, we told you about Jacob!” thought Sam.
“Oh, the idiot who ran away because a girl chose a bloodsucker over him?” thought the unfamiliar voice.
“Hey!” I thought.
“I only think of the truth!” the voice whined.
...........................................................................................................
I ran till I got to the edge of the reserve, then I turned back into Jacob and open my backpack with my close. I quickly got dressed and walked into the open. People stared as I walked, barefoot, to my little house. I opened the door to find Charlie, Sam, Billy, and the rest of the pack, including the new member, crammed into the small front room.
Charlie walked over to me first. “Nice to see your back from your school trip.” I knew otherwise but what ever they told him was fine with me. “Did you have fun?” he asked.
“More than imaginable.” I sighed and everyone laughed, except for the new member. Witch I realized then that she was…well….a she.
I walked over to Sam after talking with Charlie and getting grounded by Billy.
“Hey who’s the new girl?” I asked looking at her. Her dark skin and black hair matched everyone else, but her green eyes stuck out the most. All we had was regular old brown.
“She join right after you left”, his low voice rumbled. “I swear she’s more of a handful than Quil. She of the rebel type, and hates to be ordered around by any one but me. It must be an age thing; I mean being changed at the age of thirteen must be a shock to her.” He sighed.
“She changed at thirteen?” I asked a bit shocked.
“Yeah, and when she did I swear she hated us all. If anyone of us got near her she would snarl like where trying to kill her. Until she meet Leah, then she started to show her true self to us all. It was quit shocking that she was this kind, until Quil picks on her, and then she turns into the devil. She’s quit good at fighting. She took Quil down in mere seconds.” Sam said.
“Seconds? Wow he must have really pissed her off. It took me ten minutes just to get him off of me” I said in a smaller voice.
“She doesn’t talk about here parents much, but they don’t live here either. She ran away from them because she almost killed her father after he did some horrible stuff to her. Just by looking at her though it’s like she’s normal. I mean she’s shorted than Charlie but she has already changed. She looks like she could be on of our children” he said looking at her.
I studied her from where I was standing. How could she be so short?Bella was taller than her! She was supposed to be about my height, maybe a little less.
That’s when she turned around to see me staring at her. She had a puzzled look on her face. It was really cute actually. She walked up to me. O.m.g.! She was way to short to be a werewolf. She looked me square in the eye and half growled “what?”
“Nothing, I was just…uh…studying” I said, but the studying came out as studding.
Her eye twitched as he said it. “Studding?” she laughed.
“I mean studying!” he growled/yelled.
“There’s no god damn reason to yell!” she yelled back.
“There must be a god damn reason cause you’re yelling too!” I yelled back.
I looked up from the girl to find everyone staring at us. I pushed her to our back door and pushed her outside. She struggled all the way out. God, she was strong for a short, thirteen-year-old.
“Let go of me you basterd!” she growled.
“Where do you learn these words?” I yelled.
“From the pack!” she yelled.
“They taught you that!?” I yelled.
“No, they think it a lot! Damn it stops asking questions!” she yelled back.
“Can we please stop yelling?” I pleaded.
“Maybe” she growled in a lower voice.
“That’s better. Now, this is no way to start out knowing each other! I would rather us be friends than mortal enemies; believe me I have plenty of toughs. So what’s your name?”
“You don’t need to know that information.” She said with her back to me. God, she was a thirteen year old.
“What if you get trapped in a crowd that was about to get hit by several fast moving cars, and the only way to get out was for me to get your attention?” I asked slyly.
“What’s the chance that will happen?” she growled.
“Just tell me the god damn name!” I yelled.
“What happened to not yelling?” her smile was mocking.
It took all I had not to backhand her.” Just, please tell me the name.” I pleaded. I knew she could not resist the watery eyes.
“You look like a dying puppy, but I will tell you any way. It’s Genia, but everyone calls me Gen.” Gen said.
“Well, I’m finally glade to know your name.” I said in a sigh
-end chapter- yay that was the first chapter^^

"#5. Yaoi tags would become neither a right, nor a privilege. They would become a requirement."

wolf_girl_j
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wolf_girl_j
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