People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?
People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Screw off. What good is a gosh darn cake if you can't eat it? What, should I eat someone else's cake instead?
When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No dicknose, I paid $9.00 to come to the theatre and stare at the frigging ceiling up there. What did you come here for?
When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know butthole, you frigging pulled me over.
When people say "Life is short." What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What? Are they going to do something that's longer after life?
When people ask "Can I BORROW a piece of paper?" gosh darnit you can have the friggin thing. its not like ur gunna give it back to me after u use it!
When you are waiting for the bus and someone ask you "Did the bus come yet?" If the bus came I would not be standing here butthole!
People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya buddy?
Family guy quotes
chris:gods watching me do number 2 oh man im a sinner and gods a pervert
stewie:i like you when the world is mine your deth shall be quick and painless
peter:sry kids daddy luvs you but daddy also luvs star track and we all know star track came first
meg surprised mg i killed william shatner
Brian:Its a pleasure to see you agin lovly weather we'er having. Now you try
Peter: Its a pleasure to see you agin after Hogan Heroes Bob Crane got his skull crushed in by a friend who videotaped him having rough sex. Hows that
Brian: Wow perfect my work is done
Chicken Guy: Well looks like someone's going to a big party tonight u should pick up a chicken-strip party pack for u and your friends heres a coupon
Peter: Whoa look pal i dont take coupons from giant chickens not after last time some other time pal
chicken guy: their wont be some other time the world is going to end at midnight tonight!Y2K!
Peter: Y2K? What are you selling? Chicken or sex jelly?
chicken guy: Havent you herd? At midnight every computer in the world is gonna fail planes will fall out of the sky and the worlds nuclear weapons will Explode annillilating the entier planet!
Peter: No! Silly rabbit trix are for kids! Damn long-ears tring to take easter away from jesus. I-Im sry what were u saying
stewie>>for every grain of rice i find i shall kill u.
 Wolf Chick · Mon Jun 27, 2005 @ 05:27am · 2 Comments |
