Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

maybe thats to mellow dramatic but ********, i dont care. some men are bitches and it makes me glad im a girl. mother and fiance' got into some kinda argument. o well, she went onto his yahoo things and found out he was web cammin with black men, called big black d**k or somthing. o well, thats his deal domokun god hes a ******** but muncher whee any way, since we have no were to live now, we got to move back to kansas were the cattle roam free and there is no sociaty whats so ever. im going to live on a farm town, and even when i visit there as it is, i get stared at cus of what i look like, like a freakin goth!! and im not goth, dont like being called that kinda s**t. here look at my pic.




now see...that aint some thing you want to see on a cattle farm. god watch me die!!

well, now that i found my pics!! look at my cute little kittens!! they are bigger, but now there just rowdy! here there so cute and cuddley!!



i must say that pic of my babies really cheered me up!! the up side to all of this is that i wont have to go to school till i move and thats like 2 weeks, and when i go to kansas i can get a job and a car cus you can get a permit at 14 and im almost 16!! its kinda cool when you think of the up sides...and also its not like im going to talk to any one there, i hate them all, it'll kill me to be social with them. blaugh

well i wish i could have seen damon...kinda gonna be hard now. and also i wont be able to see ashley... god im going to miss her!! *crys* now im sad. well gonna go now, mom and that one guy * wont say his name* are fighting. so bye bye stressed

*now that i remember it....HEY DAMON! YOU FINALLY GOT A PIC OF ME!! ENJOY!!*

i must say....some people have got the worst of lives. some people can handle it some cant. my friend is one that cant. tails, you must understand that people love you! you mustent kill yourself! if i get that letter im sorry but i will hate you so much!!

god i cant take this kinda drama!! i cant stressed its driving me crazy!! i will die a young age from this stress im going through!!

<center>To break a mirror, is to distroy my pain
<center>I feel this for you, i have nothing to gain
<center>An eternity of hurt, a life time to fix
<center>My soul is purged, i have nothing to give
<center>to say that i love you,or even to care
<center>is all i can offer, all i can bare
<center>the deciet i feel now, that i have caused
<center>far is in love, in love there's no law
<center>my eyes are stained, sorrow filled tears
<center>I cant say goodbye, but mearly dissapear
<center>In hell i reminince, dreams of you I keep dear
<center>whats me that is left, for the rest of my years


Dont let me feel this, for you. i dont want to have to feel empty without you. I will try to help you, but i dont know if i can.

I hate you now for putting me through this(im sorry), for putting yourself through this. Please dont make me hate you for hurting yourself in another way. Live on, and let me love you like a friend should, and not hate you for leaving me. cry heart please Damon, for me, and Carrie

<center>Mood, exstreamly depressed and pissed off! both. scream cry

<center>I cant describe how happy i am!! i called my best friend ashley up! i think our frienship might last! since she moved to indiana we havent talked and weve fought alot, but now were planning to raise money so one of us can visit the other!! wow...this is the happiest ive been in a long time! xd

and another thing....I LOVE ANNE RICE!! i have becomed obsessed with her books! ive only read three so far but thats only in the past week or so! and i must say...i plan to read all 28!! tee hee! whee

bad news though is i gots me a cold stressed never in my life have i ever had a cold! but my great grandma died last weekend (dont worry, im not sad, blah) and i went to kansas. well i missed the freezing cold so much i went out in slacks and t shirt and stayed out side for over two hours! i was a liveing smurf after that, all blue and cold. whee kinda funny.

a little funny thing. now that i dont have to take my little red pill every day now, i am havving the time of my life!! god im no manic depressant!! i dont need those pillls!! except only when i feel like it xp heh heh, but anyways, my mom stilll thinks i got some issues so she's gonna call her surogate father who happens to be a docter and can prescribe any medicine he wants, shes' asking him to get me new pills that dont knock me out stressed damn it. but any whos, im hoppin it wont be for a while cus im liking the energy i have! ^^

Plus once again tails, im sorry for never callin much, but i seem to be spending more and more time after school with friends that i rarly find myself at home!!! and when i am home im either doing chores, typing up my story, or reading Anne's beautiful work!! i feel kinda bad but your not the only one i dont call any more. i dont even call any of my friends any more, after i go home, i dont usueally talk to them cus im too caugth up in some persanal relaxing time, or chores but i dont care about that. xp

well im going to go now, i took some nyquil today during school and it knocked me out like my red pill does, except i still am feeling the nyquill. so im going to go read a bit, then go to sleep. but i still have to get a speech written up for my speech class, so maybe i'll find some time for that too. blaugh maybe^^

Music: right now im listening to Korn's cd, Take a look in the mirror and ICP's second to last cd. Love the dead body man....man^^

peace people

<center>ANY who!! well life ******** sucks right now. God i hate dating, it ******** all turns out like s**t. But on the bright side, i got the best guy friend ever!! man every one thinks we go out cus we always give eachother good bye kisses and i always hug him!! no no no you stupid people!! He is my best friend!! blaugh heart whee


ALSO!! in to the bad mood now.... my mom and her fiance' are like fighting like s**t right now and i might have to move! s**t, i will seriously kill some one soon with all this stress... the a worst part of all is that i might have to move back to Kansas!! gonk ya..all in all i just aint in the mood for any kind of s**t right now. Also....i might quit gaia! i dont want to but im getting lasy and i have people to chat too and a life off the comp. I have grown to heart this place but i dont seem to want to leave it once i get on!!



Well this is bye for now... Im gonna go sit in my room and watch aladin!! those comercials have made me want to watch it whee whee heh..i need to get a new pack of cigs...so im off now!! i just got the new cd of ICP and would like to memorize the whole thing now eek god im obsessed with them!!

Olovwa!! (i know that aint how you spell it but s**t on you! scream !!!)

I am grounded...it sucks.!!

Any ways i just am at home..making art for some friends. Its practice right now cus i havnt drawn in so long sweatdrop ya but if i think its good enough..i'll start drawing for other people and if its good enough still..then i will try to get a profit from it. but if not..then its ok...



this is one of the drawings i have made for my friend Dragonia Bane. If you like it...then you can pm me for one blaugh Well im out...bye!!!

Chaotic like