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A twisted souls diary
This will hold the thoughts that I have chosen to show to the world. My feelings. My pain. My wants. My needs. My hate. My love. And my sorrow. Only one edition. Only one copy. Always under construction
Blinded misery
Leave my sight
You are no longer real to me
I'll return to that dreadful place
with not even one shadow of a tear in my eye
You will not have the pleasure of my pain
I've left it all behind me
I've started new, fresh, clean
At least on the outside I have
I'm undergoing physical changes
New glasses
New make-up
New cleanser
New smile
It's a wonder what braces can do
I will transform
You'll regret your stupid decision
You're unspoken decision to leave me sobbing in your shadow.
To make my heart race
My eyes turn to pure heavenly light
and then say nothing other than you knew
Knew all along and never said a word
How dare you!
How dare you know my deepest thoughts and secrets
Yet never speak a word of your knowledge
To never let me know
Let me keep on living behind a mask
You're so cruel, so cold
But now I must move on
There is another perhaps
One that I could run to at anytime
But would he love me as I have loved you
Would he make me feel safe
Would he give me soft sweet kisses
Would he bring me gifts of love
Would he remember my birthday
Or valentine's day at all
I can't guarantee it
No one can
I would never forget your birthday
Or valentine's day at all
Nor christmas
Or you're football award ceremony.

But this other that I dream about
He's so much better than you
Cuter, older, more mature
Kinder, stronger, more talented than you
He plays football
He's two years older than I
He sings
He laughs
And he would protect me
No one would dare hurt me
No one would dare take him away
The others are afraid of him
No other girl wants him
I don't know why I fell for you
I guess I was tired of the older guys
They're all I've ever dated
All of them have left me bored
Tired, confused, and uncaring
I watched you from October of 2007
To June of 2008
Then I told of my feelings
I don't how long you knew
But this other guy
We spend so much more time together
I helped him learn spanish
I see him at our choir concerts
You'd never be at one would you
Couldn't be caught dead at one
Could you
No. You care about your image too much
You slime sucking scum!

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