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Its been too long since I updated. I'm getting really bad at this. Its just so frustrating because my computer is being a royal dipshit and messing up on me constantly.
So, right now I'm sick. It started with a really bad sore throat and now its progressed into stuffy nose and cough. It has me light headed and tired all the time. Its not much fun.
Recently I've been feeling sort of depressed. My parents went to Las Vegas this week and while they called and talked to my sister, they didn't ask how I was at all. They brought her back something nice and expensive and wanted to know all about her week but all they got me was a shirt and didn't care at all about what I did. Makes me kind of sad. I just don't feel part of the family anymore. Then I got kind of down because everyone is off starting school and stuff and I felt like the biggest loser in the world because I'm not. Its just a lot of little things but mostly my family.
Well, that's about all for now. I work all the time and I have to be there at 7am tomorrow so I'm going to try and sleep now.
 Tragically Beautiful · Sat Aug 27, 2005 @ 07:12am · 2 Comments |
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Okay, this is the second time I'm writing this because Gaia ate the first try.
Wicked was in a word, fantastic. I'd give anything to be onstage again.
I went out to dinner with Jean tonight. We went to an Italian resturant called Carinos. It was really good. We had a very good cheesecake. After dinner we went to Boarders. I got some pretty neat new books. After we went to Cesar's house and watched tv with Luis. It felt like high school band all over again. lol. Those guys are so funny. Then I came home.
I'm going to go dive into my new books now.
Tragically Beautiful · Thu Aug 18, 2005 @ 08:36am · 2 Comments |
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Today was my day off. I slept till 2pm, got up when my dad came home. I had him set up the hose and stuff so I can wash my car. I would feel bad if I drove my friends to SF in a filthy car. So he helped me wash it, I helped him wash his truck (that thing is a monster). It was so hot I was sweating a lot, and I usually don't sweat that much. Even my bra was soaked...damn hot weather. I did get to drive my dad's truck though, that was fun. Went to dinner with my family, listened to old people talk. That was alright. Then after dinner me and my dad went for a ride on his motorcycle, stopped by Jean's house and talked to her for a little bit. Then he and I went to a movie. The Dukes of Hazzard. It was pretty good. Now I'm sitting here talking about plans for tomorrow. I'm finally going to see Wicked...
Tragically Beautiful · Sat Aug 13, 2005 @ 09:10am · 0 Comments |
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Its early, my stomach is growling, but I can't eat anything. I just got back from the dentist. They put my bottom braces on. It was very painful. They're so ugly...I want to cry...I want to never leave the house and show my face outside my room ever again. But, I have to...
I want to curl up and cry. I'm already ugly enough, these make it so much worse.
Tragically Beautiful · Thu Aug 11, 2005 @ 06:16pm · 2 Comments |
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"Angel? Indeed. An angel of the firs degree."
A line I've always liked. I think its sweet.
Just got off of work not too long ago. It kind of upset me because the two girls who were supposed to be doing front end with me left me to do all the sweeping. That wasn't cool. I heard them being paged by the closing CSM, so I'm assuming they got talked to. Heh.
I'm getting my bottom braces put on tomorrow morning. Right now I have spacers in and they're killing me.
My boyfriend is paying more attention to his car than he is to me...it makes me sad. I need to feel special right now, but he's too busy.
Wicked is this Saturday! I'm so excited! I can't wait to get all pretty and go out with my friends. I'm thinking of asking Jean on a date for next Wednesday. I want to get dressed up and go to a nice resturant for dinner. I feel like being fashionable.
I should go to bed, I have to be up early...
Tragically Beautiful · Thu Aug 11, 2005 @ 08:32am · 1 Comments |
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I miss a lot of things right now. I miss my old life, back when I was happy and I had my friends all around me. Now I look at things and all I see is that things aren't how I want them to be at all. I remember being really happy once...I miss that.
Tragically Beautiful · Tue Aug 09, 2005 @ 11:23pm · 2 Comments |
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I try and I try but it seems like I always do wrong. I don't help, I don't listen, I just make everything worse. If he can't be who he wants to be with me, if I just make him feel guilty for everything...then why?
Tragically Beautiful · Tue Aug 09, 2005 @ 04:05am · 1 Comments |
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Sad and angry. I know why but it would be wrong to say it. I just don't understand why people can't come to me when they need someone. Why do I always have to reach out? Its not like I'm any help but I could at least try. I try my hardest for anyone that comes into my life and I don't ever get acknowlged for it. It just makes it hard for me, it makes me feel worthless, it makes me feel useless. Everything in this world makes me feel like a waste of a person. I want to make a difference. I want to make a difference in people's lives. I just wish I knew how to do that. I wish I were a better person so that I would know how to do that. I wish that I could know how to comfort someone, to make them feel special, to make them feel anything. But...I'm not and I can't. A waste, that's all I am.
Tragically Beautiful · Mon Aug 08, 2005 @ 10:14am · 0 Comments |
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My head is hurting.
Today was a crappy day. I just wasn't feeling well at work for some reason. It was insanely busy and hot and I was sweaty. It wasn't much fun. After I got back from lunch they sent me to Garden and I talked to Matt, another cashier. That made me feel a little bit better. Just to have someone actually talk to me. Its hard being a loner. Then I got to work the exit door. Anthony, the CSM, put me there to give the guy working there a break. Anthony always has me do odd jobs. Yesterday he asked me to condense the clearance carts. Working the exit door was so boring! I can't see how a person could do that all day long, I'd go crazy! I like to keep busy to make time go by quicker.
So yeah, that was my day. Right now all I want to do is lay in bed and talk to my boyfriend...but he's at work...and I think he's mad at me. So...I'm sad.
Tragically Beautiful · Mon Aug 08, 2005 @ 08:22am · 0 Comments |
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