~What's up~
Sorry that I have not been posting up jounral's lately, but a series of tragic events are happening, such as my great grandmother getting high off of pills given to her from the nursing home, my crush leaving for another school and possibly never coming back, and me being alone on the holiday's once again.
~Concert~
Not too long ago I had a choir concert and one of my friend's had a solo, she has a nice voice. All in all the concert turned out pretty good and even our Choir teacher congradulated us which made some of my stress go away.
~Friend going away?~
My friend wasn't even supposed to be at my school this year, but me and some friends convinced him to stay, but his mom is driving him crazy along with the teachers.
When I found out about this during my class before lunch I maintained the pain until lunch and I couldn't eat. One of the teahers saw I was upset and took me to a conselour and I had to take to her for a while about how this matter affected me. I feel like an empty shell now, but she did convince me to write an email to him.
You know what sucks about that? My mom forgot to pay the internet bill so I had to go over to my granny's to use the internet, but I cannot access anything from here, no im, no gmail, NOTHING.
I'm hopefully going home tonight to check my email to see what he says, because I truely do like him alot and my world is already on a rollercoaster. If he does leave for good I might just shut out everyoone like I did before.
This cycle for me never ends...
~4 days till christmas~
Yep it's that time of year were everyone tries to hide that they are lonely. From a proven fact that people get depressed on holidays and they force a smile upon their faces because they don't wanna ruin he festive mood.
I on the other hand, do not force a smile. I actually show how I feel because what point is there to hide to true you.
I've hidden it for so many years and now my pathetic heart can't take the drama so yeah. This is the true sadistic me, the person who craves for attention because I am deprived of it at home and whenever I do try to get love from my family, they deny me.
Ho ho ho, merry ******** christmas. -_-
Sorry that I have not been posting up jounral's lately, but a series of tragic events are happening, such as my great grandmother getting high off of pills given to her from the nursing home, my crush leaving for another school and possibly never coming back, and me being alone on the holiday's once again.
~Concert~
Not too long ago I had a choir concert and one of my friend's had a solo, she has a nice voice. All in all the concert turned out pretty good and even our Choir teacher congradulated us which made some of my stress go away.
~Friend going away?~
My friend wasn't even supposed to be at my school this year, but me and some friends convinced him to stay, but his mom is driving him crazy along with the teachers.
When I found out about this during my class before lunch I maintained the pain until lunch and I couldn't eat. One of the teahers saw I was upset and took me to a conselour and I had to take to her for a while about how this matter affected me. I feel like an empty shell now, but she did convince me to write an email to him.
You know what sucks about that? My mom forgot to pay the internet bill so I had to go over to my granny's to use the internet, but I cannot access anything from here, no im, no gmail, NOTHING.
I'm hopefully going home tonight to check my email to see what he says, because I truely do like him alot and my world is already on a rollercoaster. If he does leave for good I might just shut out everyoone like I did before.
This cycle for me never ends...
~4 days till christmas~
Yep it's that time of year were everyone tries to hide that they are lonely. From a proven fact that people get depressed on holidays and they force a smile upon their faces because they don't wanna ruin he festive mood.
I on the other hand, do not force a smile. I actually show how I feel because what point is there to hide to true you.
I've hidden it for so many years and now my pathetic heart can't take the drama so yeah. This is the true sadistic me, the person who craves for attention because I am deprived of it at home and whenever I do try to get love from my family, they deny me.
Ho ho ho, merry ******** christmas. -_-
