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stupid!
stupid!
stupid!

that's what i am. that's what he is. and that's what every person in the world should be called. life sucks so bad. and i suck the worst.

i always dream of them. i hate it. i always feel so groggy and tired the whole day. i can't even remember the times when i haven't dreamed of them.
torrid kisses and make-ups. it's very tiring and petrifying. especially when you so enjoyed those moments in the realm of the unreal. but anyhow, those dreams feel so real - much real than when i'm awake.
i'd like to wish that everything happening now is just a very long nightmare and someday i'll wake up to be ******** up by a prince charming. pathetic. just like what really happened to poor sleeping beauty if you'd read the original version of hers.

and maybe that's what's happening to them. and to me. it's all just a dream. reality is nothing but our beliefs anyway, right? so while i wait for you to like me you're simultaneously waiting for another to like you. and we'll all end up unhappy. why can't things go easily?

he wants me back when i no longer know him. i can't even imagine his face anymore. why is it that when he has something in his hands he treats it like s**t. and when it's gone that's the time he's longing for it. humans are pathetic. and he's the most pathetic for me. he says all the things that would have made me cry for happiness back then. but now it's just stupid. i hate it.

when i dreamed of him trying to have a second chance of me his kiss made me happy. it's just a dream so maybe i was mistaken. because every time i imagine that when i'm awake i feel afraid. i don't want to go back to that. i don't want to go back being a nobody. i was just nobody back then when i'm with him. because he won't let me be anybody.

and that's it. im stupid. he's stupid. he's also stupid.