Hello all.... Well when I was on the bus today I saw a grandmother and her grand child sitting in the front....They talked about usual things that I think a person with grand parents will say...
It made me sad because my grandparents well all of them are dead in a sense well except for my grandpa on my mothers side but he never visits so i put it as he claims me as his grand daughter. Well I dont remember them i think since my grandparents on my fathers side died when I was still a baby I dont know maybe I'm not so use to the old or elderly if you prefer because they die off so quickly in my family... Sometimes I get really depressed just thinking about and I am afraid that I will be left alone with no one really beside me not even friends....................It frightens me but in the end I remember I was born alone and I will die alone................
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Im dieing my soul has betrayed me; Turned it's back. My friends what Friends There are'nt any because I here in darkness alone I take out my box cutter I pull up they blade I sit in the corner regretting of how I let you come so close to my heart I thought I actually loved you but I was foolish To belive such things...I screamed Out "You leaved me You Told me You would never leave me" I cry then I said "You left like the others in the past present and future" I brought the blade to my wrist and my concious say dont do it.....I was in so much pain in my heart it was breaking in two no it was truely shattering. When I said I loved you that day I knew I was Over. I soon brought the knife closer and slowly cut through my bare skin I started to see some blood lightly come through then I did it once more on my arm then again and again I soon had more than 500 cuts or probably more my whole arm was bleeding and the sight of my own blood made me feel better as soon as I stood up without any bandages I heard the doorbell ring I opened the door and I see only people in black and someone saying is this the house of oceanblurose i replied yes and soon the speaker comes up to me and says "My love I missed you so" I instantly thought i-it's him the one who I thought was like the others but he's here solid human he was older than I and I didn''t care I knew I loved him i hugged him he saw my arm he pushed my away and said what happened why are you cut I didnt notice I had the box cutter still in my hand and soon I said faintly "You left me You told me you wouldn't you left me in darkness I loved you and yet you're here please tell me this love I call is real because if it not I wont bear nothing I will be a worthless shell..........." I passed out only hearing my name being called over and over only passing into loneliness of my orietented darkness waiting for me........
with the moonlight shining on me I try to reach up and and touch it
with the moonlight shining on me I try to reach up and and touch it
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