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I am depressed today. I slept in until after 11am today. Why? I had a dream about the ex.
This has made me sad. On friday night I caught up with a couple of friends, one of whom is a practicing wiccan, and she cleansed my rose quartz (crystal that promotes love - both attracting it and healing from heartache) and performed a love spell for me. I should point out that this was not in order to snare anybody against their will it is more like sending out the message to the universe that I would like the right person to come into my life - like a declaration of being open to what is destined for me.
Anyway, I have had a couple of days where I have been good about the break up (I mean it has been more than 3 months already), and I have been content knowing that I have sent the message out there.

Today changed all that. I had one of those drifting into and out of sleep kind of dreams. It starts with C and I well being intimate with each other and made me feel so happy that now I have tears in my eyes because of the feeling of loss that I am experiencing. By now I really shouldn't cry.
Anyway from there it gets weird. The brain kicks in and the drifting goes on to show me that either it was a mistake and he doesn't want to get back with me or that it is a dream of what could have happened in the past when we were together.

This sucks, I have been dumped once before but this is ridiculous.

What is worse is that I read his horoscope yesterday in the newspaper and his stars are fantastic for love and romance and solutions to his issues will apparently just fall into his lap.

(I wish I could just fall into his lap and everything would be wonderful)

I keep taking massive backwards steps! Every time something looks up for me I get kicked in the stomach by this again! I am sick of this.

My horoscope isn't so great, my love stars are patchy and apparently although many of my sign dream of travel, few will do it. My holiday better go ahead!

Anyway, I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. If he was meant for me then he wouldn't have dumped me, or he would want me back. He doesn't, so we were and are not meant to be.

I really, really wish that I could stop thinking about him though, and then those thoughts wouldn't be there to make me cry.

I am crying right now, why does it have to be this way?