I
Last attempt:
Her toes dug into the sand. She looked out towards the sun setting over a misty sea, its rays soaking into the clouds and turning the sky a bloody orange colour. The events of yesterday were swirling in her mind, how her whole world had been turned upside-down in a matter of minutes.
It had all gone wrong, ever since he had come back. He’d been in Australia ‘finding himself’. It didn’t help much that the whole female population of the village was in love with him. Even the happily-married-with-40-years ones had a soft spot for Gary.
Mairéad wasn’t. She’d fallen into the trap before and wasn’t falling for the oh-so-attractive decoys. God knows, he was trying.
“I’ve missed you, you know.” He’d said nonchalantly.
“Well here I am.” Mairéad looked at him, “You were the one that left.” He held up his hands, protesting innocence.
“Well, I see that you haven’t changed all that much. Still as touchy.” He grinned down at her. He’d finally grown. His towering frame looked down at Mairéad who wasn’t small herself.
“I see you haven’t either. Still the same little boy at heart.” Mairéad’s exterior remained calm, but inside she knew she was captivated. His mop of mousey brown hair falling in curls into his eyes. The shape of his face had been cut out. It was no longer that of a boy. A smile played at the edge of his mouth, not an unkind sneer, nothing was malicious about the way he looked at her now. His eyes looked into hers; she knew she couldn’t hold his gaze for very long. He was being honest. He’d told her, not all, but he would. She couldn’t and mustn’t tell him. As she looked at him and what he had become, she knew she couldn’t stay distant, not in the small town.
They chatted later and later into the night. She found herself letting her guard down completely. All thoughts about dangerous situations and strangers faded away by the hearth. They were old friends catching up on lost time … friends.
***
Mairéad woke cold and alone on the sofa in her small living room. The fire long gone out and the sun long having risen.
He’s left me again. The familiar dull ache of longing set in again.
There was a loud knock on the door. Slowly and painfully she rose from her curled up position.
“I’m coming!” she called out as the knocking became more persistent.
“You look like you’ve had a good night,” commented Stephanie as she bustled into the kitchen with two fresh wraps from the corner shop, in fact, the only shop in the village with a deli. “I saw him come out the gate at around three.” She cast Mairéad a knowing glance, “Well are you going to tell me what happened or what? Discretion has never been your forte -”
“Nothing happened!” Mairéad cut in. “We talked and I must have fallen asleep, and as you say, he went home. Must have been pretty boring here after I nodded off.” she remarked. She grabbed the wrap with hunger. “See? Nothing.” She said through a mouthful of chicken and salsa.
“It’s still got to be a bit strange though, after three years … after how serious you were -”
Stephanie stopped. She noticed her friend wince. Mairéad looked up brightly.
“Well, we’re not any more. We’re just catching up -”
“- On lost time. You couldn’t have done anything about it. Blame his estranged father. Shows up one day and carts him off to the other side of the world. The outback no less!” Mairéad looked at the ground,
“He was hurt when he went out. You know that his father never told him anything about his life out there? His father had a family, a young one too. He came over looking for him under the pretence of seeing his mother.”
“Gary’s nan? Nell? But she’s dead with years.”
“His father knew and came over to find him. He didn’t plan on taking him back at all. But he said that he couldn’t let him go again. His father’s wife didn’t want him. She went up the wall, kicked him out and said she didn’t want his ‘type’ in the house. He was only sixteen! He found relatives of his mothers in Melbourne and he stayed with them. He had to earn all the money for coming home himself, as well as rent to his family. He got a well paying job on a sheep station after about 18 months. He was working for people doing odd jobs before that.” She felt a weight lift off her shoulders, “That’s why he only came home now.” Stephanie saw the relief on her friend’s face.
“Just be careful. He might go back. Take it slowly, please?”
Stephanie was there the last time Gary took off. His sudden departure took everyone by surprise, but Mairéad was most affected. They were a famous couple. They loved each other and everyone could see it. They were so different but they were so right for each other. Mairéad was quiet and impatient and didn’t hang around with the ‘in-crowd’. Gary was impulsive, carefree, a child at heart and the leader of the popular crowd. They were both smart but had little time for school. ‘The University of Life’ as Mairéad’s dad liked to call it. She finished her Leaving Cert. and was in college. Gary didn’t have an opportunity, but confided that he was going to take a language and try to get a job in Fáilte Ireland.
They always gave each other space and had plenty of friends. Theirs was a perfect relationship until the day Gary’s father showed up. It upset Gary, his family and worst of all, Mairéad. Gary slipped away from her fingers and easily as he had been put there. With Stephanie and other friends help, she’d gotten over him. She’d had other boyfriends, but they never filled the void in her heart.
Stephanie knew Gary could leave again. She never trusted him. Fast cars and fast women she thought were all that ever interested him. She was on the outside looking in at her distraught best friend and he was the one she blamed.
***
“I’m such an idiot!” he kicked a chair and sent it flying across the room. “I should have stayed. Now what’s she going to think?!”
She’s going to think that you’re a flake, half there, half not. The voice inside Gary’s head was very cruel. But he was starting to believe it more and more.
“I had to leave. I … I couldn’t just stay there. I mean, she was asleep and I wasn’t invited. It’d be a welcome long over-stayed.”
It never seemed to bother you before. The voice was mocking him. He went after the flung chair and turned it the right way up, suddenly feeling remorse for his rash temper.
“What’s done is done, isn’t it?” he looked up.
“What’s done is done. You’re right. I can’t help you; even you can’t help you now.” Stephanie folded her arms and looked piteously at him. “Leave it man, leave her alone. She’s gone through enough, if you loved her, you’d leave her to heal. It can’t be easy seeing you again, the way you are, three years after all that happened between you two.”
Gary watched her for a long time before replying.
“I do. But I can’t. Will you talk to her? I need to do this, lay my demons to rest.”
“You’re the one to talk about demons,” Stephanie suddenly had a note of malice in her tone. “You walked out on her. She was broken hearted and still probably is. She’ll never get over you, not properly. She turned to me three months after you’d left and asked me why we weren’t waiting for you. Don’t you dare tell me about demons.”
Stephanie stared at him for a while as if trying to make up her mind.
“If you really want her to be free from you, you’ve got to apologise to her. You’ve got to come to terms with what you did to her yourself. I should kill you for what you’ve done to her, but how could you wake up each day and try to live with yourself?”
Stephanie got up and left.
You’ve really done it now. You’ve got the best friend against you. Well done mate. The voice was most definitely laughing.
Her toes dug into the sand. She looked out towards the sun setting over a misty sea, its rays soaking into the clouds and turning the sky a bloody orange colour. The events of yesterday were swirling in her mind, how her whole world had been turned upside-down in a matter of minutes.
It had all gone wrong, ever since he had come back. He’d been in Australia ‘finding himself’. It didn’t help much that the whole female population of the village was in love with him. Even the happily-married-with-40-years ones had a soft spot for Gary.
Mairéad wasn’t. She’d fallen into the trap before and wasn’t falling for the oh-so-attractive decoys. God knows, he was trying.
“I’ve missed you, you know.” He’d said nonchalantly.
“Well here I am.” Mairéad looked at him, “You were the one that left.” He held up his hands, protesting innocence.
“Well, I see that you haven’t changed all that much. Still as touchy.” He grinned down at her. He’d finally grown. His towering frame looked down at Mairéad who wasn’t small herself.
“I see you haven’t either. Still the same little boy at heart.” Mairéad’s exterior remained calm, but inside she knew she was captivated. His mop of mousey brown hair falling in curls into his eyes. The shape of his face had been cut out. It was no longer that of a boy. A smile played at the edge of his mouth, not an unkind sneer, nothing was malicious about the way he looked at her now. His eyes looked into hers; she knew she couldn’t hold his gaze for very long. He was being honest. He’d told her, not all, but he would. She couldn’t and mustn’t tell him. As she looked at him and what he had become, she knew she couldn’t stay distant, not in the small town.
They chatted later and later into the night. She found herself letting her guard down completely. All thoughts about dangerous situations and strangers faded away by the hearth. They were old friends catching up on lost time … friends.
***
Mairéad woke cold and alone on the sofa in her small living room. The fire long gone out and the sun long having risen.
He’s left me again. The familiar dull ache of longing set in again.
There was a loud knock on the door. Slowly and painfully she rose from her curled up position.
“I’m coming!” she called out as the knocking became more persistent.
“You look like you’ve had a good night,” commented Stephanie as she bustled into the kitchen with two fresh wraps from the corner shop, in fact, the only shop in the village with a deli. “I saw him come out the gate at around three.” She cast Mairéad a knowing glance, “Well are you going to tell me what happened or what? Discretion has never been your forte -”
“Nothing happened!” Mairéad cut in. “We talked and I must have fallen asleep, and as you say, he went home. Must have been pretty boring here after I nodded off.” she remarked. She grabbed the wrap with hunger. “See? Nothing.” She said through a mouthful of chicken and salsa.
“It’s still got to be a bit strange though, after three years … after how serious you were -”
Stephanie stopped. She noticed her friend wince. Mairéad looked up brightly.
“Well, we’re not any more. We’re just catching up -”
“- On lost time. You couldn’t have done anything about it. Blame his estranged father. Shows up one day and carts him off to the other side of the world. The outback no less!” Mairéad looked at the ground,
“He was hurt when he went out. You know that his father never told him anything about his life out there? His father had a family, a young one too. He came over looking for him under the pretence of seeing his mother.”
“Gary’s nan? Nell? But she’s dead with years.”
“His father knew and came over to find him. He didn’t plan on taking him back at all. But he said that he couldn’t let him go again. His father’s wife didn’t want him. She went up the wall, kicked him out and said she didn’t want his ‘type’ in the house. He was only sixteen! He found relatives of his mothers in Melbourne and he stayed with them. He had to earn all the money for coming home himself, as well as rent to his family. He got a well paying job on a sheep station after about 18 months. He was working for people doing odd jobs before that.” She felt a weight lift off her shoulders, “That’s why he only came home now.” Stephanie saw the relief on her friend’s face.
“Just be careful. He might go back. Take it slowly, please?”
Stephanie was there the last time Gary took off. His sudden departure took everyone by surprise, but Mairéad was most affected. They were a famous couple. They loved each other and everyone could see it. They were so different but they were so right for each other. Mairéad was quiet and impatient and didn’t hang around with the ‘in-crowd’. Gary was impulsive, carefree, a child at heart and the leader of the popular crowd. They were both smart but had little time for school. ‘The University of Life’ as Mairéad’s dad liked to call it. She finished her Leaving Cert. and was in college. Gary didn’t have an opportunity, but confided that he was going to take a language and try to get a job in Fáilte Ireland.
They always gave each other space and had plenty of friends. Theirs was a perfect relationship until the day Gary’s father showed up. It upset Gary, his family and worst of all, Mairéad. Gary slipped away from her fingers and easily as he had been put there. With Stephanie and other friends help, she’d gotten over him. She’d had other boyfriends, but they never filled the void in her heart.
Stephanie knew Gary could leave again. She never trusted him. Fast cars and fast women she thought were all that ever interested him. She was on the outside looking in at her distraught best friend and he was the one she blamed.
***
“I’m such an idiot!” he kicked a chair and sent it flying across the room. “I should have stayed. Now what’s she going to think?!”
She’s going to think that you’re a flake, half there, half not. The voice inside Gary’s head was very cruel. But he was starting to believe it more and more.
“I had to leave. I … I couldn’t just stay there. I mean, she was asleep and I wasn’t invited. It’d be a welcome long over-stayed.”
It never seemed to bother you before. The voice was mocking him. He went after the flung chair and turned it the right way up, suddenly feeling remorse for his rash temper.
“What’s done is done, isn’t it?” he looked up.
“What’s done is done. You’re right. I can’t help you; even you can’t help you now.” Stephanie folded her arms and looked piteously at him. “Leave it man, leave her alone. She’s gone through enough, if you loved her, you’d leave her to heal. It can’t be easy seeing you again, the way you are, three years after all that happened between you two.”
Gary watched her for a long time before replying.
“I do. But I can’t. Will you talk to her? I need to do this, lay my demons to rest.”
“You’re the one to talk about demons,” Stephanie suddenly had a note of malice in her tone. “You walked out on her. She was broken hearted and still probably is. She’ll never get over you, not properly. She turned to me three months after you’d left and asked me why we weren’t waiting for you. Don’t you dare tell me about demons.”
Stephanie stared at him for a while as if trying to make up her mind.
“If you really want her to be free from you, you’ve got to apologise to her. You’ve got to come to terms with what you did to her yourself. I should kill you for what you’ve done to her, but how could you wake up each day and try to live with yourself?”
Stephanie got up and left.
You’ve really done it now. You’ve got the best friend against you. Well done mate. The voice was most definitely laughing.
