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hm............. yes hm.................. ok hm................

yeah I am bored, well a lot has changed since my last journal entry. And well nobody cares about my life but me so just feel like having a milestone of a post for my future reference and looking to see how it all changed. Well lets start off with my life

my life is going ok, nothing special, I should be sitting here reading my novel for my AP English class, but I am not, I am typing this up and trying to waste my time. I have been going to work from time to time, but nothing special, I still have not heard from any of the place I applied to. So yeah I am beginning to think that I won't be hired by any of them. I don't know why it's so hard to find a job. So yeah I guess the good thing is that I am alive, we can all count the many journal entries where I claimed it would be the end for me

Well as for girls, no point in talking about it, I can sum it up quickly, I am giving up on dating and all that for awhile. For one I am tired of getting into relationship after relationship, and my friend Victoria is right, I go from girl to girl way too quickly. Its not my fault that they all break up with me, but then again like I told Michelle awhile back, I can't sit here and actually blame all my problems on the girls I've dated, there has to be something wrong with me, something unappealing that makes them want to break up with me. So yeah I have to worry about school and college and all those wonderful things that will add more stress to my life when it comes again. I've accepted my destiny, kind of hard not to, I fought with God long enough, and of course He won, He always wins. I know I am meant to be alone, but damnit I am way too stubborn to just let fate get in the way of what I really want. But I can't stop who I am, I can't make girls like to be with me. I am destined to be alone, for whatever lies ahead me, requires that huge sacrifice.