5. Cars
I have to ride my bike because my short a** can't see over the ******** steering wheel. Do other cars yield to me and be kind because I'm on a bike with a heavy back pack? ******** NO. These moron motorists take every chance they can to ******** cut me off and get on with heading off to work where their coworker is blowing them under the desk daily. Some mother ******** in a hot rod almost KILLED me two months ago, and the only person who got out to help me was some old guy who was farting dust. Cars need to be blown the ******** up, everyone needs to get their fat a** on a bike, IT'S GOOD FOR YOU.
4. Bratz Dolls
Can someone explain to me what the ******** these are? I mean, these little toys are the SCARIEST things I have ever seen. They have stick-like whore bodies and these giant inflated heads; and little girls are crazy over them! Excuse me, but when did being a ******** b***h become trendy and cool? These weird little prostitots need to be slapped whenever they beg for any merchandise with the Bratz logo on it.
3. Chicken tenders
The next small minded shitcock who puts chicken tenders on a menu is going to get pegged in the nutsack. It's a goddamn nugget, it's not a tender. Have you ever seen a tender? Is it an ITEM now? Tender is a word used to describe something, it's an adjective, not a noun. It's a chicken strip, breast, leg, nugget, and a**s. There is no tender on a ******** chicken, I cannot seem to find one. And these so called 'tenders' are dry as the inside of Bob Barker's a*****e, they are NOT juicy and delicious. False advertising, ******** YOU.
2. Gay people wearing bows
Men have become the biggest ******** pussies I swear. It's one thing to follow the trend of being gay. Fine. But WHY do we have to ALL fit the stereotype? Take off the girl accessories. Get that goddamn bow off your head, if you have a p***s, DO NOT WEAR HELLO KITTY. I REPEAT, DO NOT WEAR HELLO KITTY. The next time I see a ******** man shopping in Clair's I am going to use the ear piercing gun to staple his balls to the floor.
And the number one thing pissing me off this week is...
1. Poop
Poop is the ******** scariest thing in the world. It's so scary, it's a giant pile of horror. I don't know how people have buttsex, you want your MAN DANGLES near that s**t? Are you outta yer goddamn mind, poop is the most evil and frightening substance known to MAN; POOP can break up a RELATIONSHIP. If you step in it, your day is ********. And if you are in the middle of something and need to pinch a loaf, guess what? YOU CAN'T. YOU HAVE TO HOLD IT AND DIE OF PAIN. Poop is evil, end of story.
Tune in next week for my next Top 5 Things That Piss Me Off.
Toodles ;D
Soothing Community Member 
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