Well, today I found myself around 11 PM, on the verge of tears, feeling so incredibly alone and sad, for no real reason. I just wanted to curl into a ball and die. It was horrible; my eyes were burning because I couldn't cry since my dad was in the very next room and he'd be disturbed. I hate depression, and I hate how deeply it affects me. I get strange thoughts in my head; what it would be like to hang myself, paranoias about my friends, family and boyfriend leaving me, thoughts of former S.I.
So, I called the boyfriend. And he talked me through it. He told me that I have nothing to worry about; that I am loved and that he understands what I am going through and how I feel. I am not sure he really does, to the extent of my depression, but I so deeply appreciate the efforts he's put forth. I have possibly one of the most loving, understanding boyfriends ever. I'd be lost without him.
27 Names for Tears · Sun Jul 15, 2007 @ 07:48am · 0 Comments |