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i'm riding something to fast for me. going places i don't want to go. into to the dark, the cold snow coming at my face like needles, into the dead forest, sharp turns to the left and right. i get thrashed back and forth in my seat. my skin starts turning purple but i barely notice. i scream and haller but not out of thrill out of fear. i want to take the rains and control my own path but i'm too scared. 'what will happen to me?" i ask myself. i'm frozen in my seat as i watch my surroundings change like the face of time. my hair blows wildly in front of my eyes, blinding me at times. i hide my eyes in my hand wishing it over, wishing my life will come to an end. as the road starts to calm i feel my wounds. i'm purple and black all over. and my cuts wont stop bleeding. my hair drips blood all over myself and the seat, changing it's color. i look at my arms and see the cuts that i myself did not do. i realize that this is not my pain, these are not my scares but the scars and pains of others. taken under my wing so they will not have to carry it but in vain i do this, for they continue to carry there pain. i am aware of one scar especially. it runs from my left shoulder across my body to my right waist. it burns like acid and sucks my will power away into nothing. this scar came into place by two different people. this is my one true scare yet it has the strength of all my scares. i start to bounce in my seat again. i look up at the driver, desperate. 'stop' i beg her 'please stop.' but no response comes from her lips. she doesn't even acknowledge my words. she continues to drive out of control. she knows the path is to dangerous, to hard for us to handle but who cares for my safety? no one dose because they blame me.

my heart will forever be the backseat driver, taking the pain of others and myself for me. i dare not look back. i dare not feel the pain it's forced to take, yet i already do. i dare not look at it for fear of losing myself but the truth is i'm already lost. lost in my frozen desert.