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a song, a word, or even a thought can triger it. i explode and what i tried so hard to keep back comes out. it wont stay in the bottle that i put it in. my pain escapes from it's imprisonment and burns me like acid. the pain i feel brings me to my knees. i crall into a ball and hope that i can stay together. or at least keep the peaces. i'm wishing, wanting someone to come and help but knowing no one will, for they don't know. they don't know our pain. they don't know what they did to us and as much as we want to blame him we can't for it was just as much our fault as it is theres. i wish he knew my pain. i wish he knew the tears i cry. i wish he could understand why i was the way i was but he dosen't and he never will for i will not tell. not a single word will escape my lips. i will say nothing because it's my pain and mine alone and will do no good in his hands or in his thoughts.