Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Fandom: xxxHolic
Pairing: Watanuki x Doumeki
Rating: PG-13
Notes: I do not claim these characters, they belong to CLAMP! This chapter takes place during Volume 6. It is pretty much all drama... And I don't like writting drama, but yeah... A confession from Doumeki, and Watanuki is now trying to decide what his feelings are. This will be contined through the next chapters.

Chapter 5
Chapter 4
Chapter 3
Chapter 2
Chapter 1
Prologue

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He woke up the morning after the Demon Parade with a terrible headache. The first thought that went through Watanuki’s head was that he hated Yuuko’s analogies. They were supposed to hold that lantern the way newly weds held a knife when they were cutting their cake? It made him wonder; did she really know that he and Doumeki were already together?

He groaned. This was not just any headache, it was a migraine. He rolled over on the futon, just to have the blankets pulled off of him. It was cold, and he could feel goose bumps forming on his bare skin.

“Take this,” a fully-dressed Doumeki said, handing him hangover medicine and a glass of water.

“Did you carry me here last night?”

The expressionless man nodded.

“I’m so pathetic,” Watanuki sighed, taking the medicine, and taking a long gulp of the water before handing the glass back to Doumeki. He lay back on to the mattress, burying himself under the covers once more and pulling a pillow over his head.

“You just have a low tolerance. That is all.”

“If my head didn’t hurt this much, I’d yell at you right now.”

“Why? I didn’t do anything.”

“Always so arrogant.”

“Eh?”

“You are!” his voice only slightly louder than his previous comment.

“Kimihiro.”

“Hm?”

“I’ve been thinking.”

Watanuki gave him a blank stare, “You aren’t breaking up with me, are you?”

“No, no. Nothing like that.”

Watanuki sighed, “I’m glad. What is it then?”

“You’re the first person I’ve cared about this much.”

“Eh?” It was Watanuki’s turn to raise an eyebrow,” What are you getting at, Shizuka?”

Doumeki was now leaning over Watanuki, his knees on the mattress of Watanuki’s futon. He moaned as Doumeki left gentle kisses on his neck and shoulders.

“Kimihiro, I’m in love with you.”

Watanuki’s eyes widened slightly, and his cheeks turned pink, “What? Really?” He was speaking softly, hoping beyond hope that this was not a dream. Was Doumeki really in love with him. Was he in love with Doumeki?

Doumeki nodded, “Yes, I really am.”

“Why?”

Doumeki raised an eyebrow, and Watanuki wondered if that was a stupid question, but Doumeki still answered, “Many reasons, but that is not an easy question to answer.”

“But…I’m not even good looking! I’m unpopular, I wear glasses…”

“The glasses look good on you.”

“I’m not good looking!”

“I think so.”

“So you love me for my looks then, is that it?”

Doumeki shook his head, narrowing his eyes curiously, “Not at all. I said that I love you, not your face. But I do like your face too.”

Watanuki’s blush deepened and he looked away. He had let himself become so close to another person. What if something were to happen tomorrow, and he would lose Doumeki just like he lost his parents?

“What is it? Kimihiro? Don’t cry!”

He was being pulled off the mattress, and into the warm embrace of the man that loved him. He was now clinging to Doumeki, tears flowing down his cheeks and staining the other man’s shirt.

“Shizuka?”

“Hm?’

“Promise me that you won’t ever leave me.”

He was holding Watanuki tightly now, one hand at his waist, the other leaving comforting trails on his back.

“I promise.”

--------------------------------

“Doumeki-kun has been practicing a lot, hasn’t he?” Himawari asked during lunch about a week later.

“Yeah. There’s a competition coming up,” Watanuki replied, taking a bite of onigiri.

“You know a lot! Watanuki-kun and Doumeki-kun are such good friends!”

“WE ARE NOT!” Watanuki yelled, but she was already talking to someone else, and did now even notice.

Watanuki sighed. The past week, Doumeki had been so busy with archery that he had not seen Doumeki much. He hadn’t even spent the night once that week. Yuuko was away too, so he was doing a whole lot of nothing after school, except going to Yuuko’t to clean every other day, and sometimes going to the park. On those days he was meeting a kimono-clad woman who appeared to be the age his mother would be if she were still alive today.

He was adjusting his glasses when Himawari looked back, telling him a teacher needed her help. Then she was gone, leaving him alone with his lunch yet again.

--------------------------------

“Watanuki-kun, you look pale. Are you feeling well?” Himawari asked during lunch the next day. He had talked to Yuuko on the phone the night before, and she had said that he should try to avoid the woman in the park. The woman had said that she was lonely, and he didn’t want her to feel loneliness anymore. So he continued going almost everyday. He thought that he might be getting sick when he was coughing a lot more than normal.

“Watanuki-kun, are you alright?” Himawari asked again.

“I’m fine, Himawari-chan.” He replied before being overcome with a fit of coughing.

“You should probably go straight home today. Or go see the nurse.”

But stubborn Watanuki never listened to what anyone said. He was already at Yuuko’s shop, cleaning like he did every other day while she was gone. He answered the phone when it rang. Yuuko. He was coughing more, but this time, he was coughing up blood. Maru and Moro had already rushed into the room, and were dragging him toward the door, then through the yard, telling him that ‘that one’ was going to help him. And just as he saw Doumeki, he passed out.

Watanuki wasn’t sure how long he was out, and he didn’t remember if he dreamed or not. When he finally came to, he noticed he was in a room at Doumeki’s temple, and Doumeki was sitting next to him. He wanted to hide under the blankets, but Doumeki already knew he was awake. He was still dressed in his school uniform. Maybe he hadn’t even gone to archery practice that day.

“It’s that woman you are seeing. Yuuko-san doesn’t think she is human. She’s making you sick.”

“She’s lonely. I can’t stop seeing her.”

“Kimihiro, if you keep seeing her, you could die.”

Watanuki was hiding under his pillow now, tears flowing freely. He seemed to be doing that a lot recently, hiding under his pillow…Doumeki seemed upset as well, but no new emotions showed on his placid face.

“I have to see her. She’s not bad! She’s not evil! I don’t want her to be lonely!”

At this point he didn’t know if he was talking about her, or himself.

“I’m not going to stop you from seeing her, but I don’t want to lose you.”

Watanuki stood up, “I’m going home. I can’t stay here anymore.”

“I’m coming with you.”

“No! I want to be alone right now!”

Then Watanuki ran out and away from the temple and down the lamp-lit road. But instead of going toward his apartment, he went to the park.

The woman was there, waiting as she always did, on the bench they always sat at, Watanuki was coughing so hard anyone would think he was about to hack up a lung.

“I didn’t think you would come back,” she whispered, staring at the ground.

“You were lonely. I didn’t want you to be lonely.” And he could almost feel himself saying that he didn’t want to feel lonely.

She looked up at him, wide-eyed, “But you are obviously sick! And it must be my fault. You should not have come.”
Between fits of coughing, he managed to say to her, “When you are lonely, I am lonely.”

He was coughing even more violently now, dropping to his knees on the ground. She stood up, and was now reaching out for him.

“Don’t touch him.”

Watanuki looked up, “D-Doumeki..”

Then he was coughing again, and everything that happened next was all a blur to him. He had placed himself between the woman and Doumeki’s bow, but he had shot anyway, knowing the spirit woman would jump in front of the arrow.

“Shizuka! Why? Why!?” Watanuki was screaming and crying, but he was too tired to stand.

“It is what I chose to do.” Was all Doumeki said, he had already told Watanuki the reason before. He walked toward Watanuki, who only seconds later was swatting him away.

“I have to get you back. Yuuko is home, she wants me to take you there.”

“I’m not working now!”

“No, she’s not going to make you work.”

“I don’t want to go! You – You can’t make me go!”

Doumeki dropped his bow, pulling Watanuki into a hug. The bespectacled teen struggled for a moment, thinking the archer had been planning on throwing him over his shoulder and carrying him to Yuuko’s shop anyway. When Watanuki realized that that was not what was happening, he ceased his flailing and wrapped his arms around Doumeki’s waist, burying his head in the taller boy’s chest. Then his hands were in fists, and he was pounding Doumeki’s chest over and over again.

“Shizuka! She wasn’t evil! Why did you do it!? Why?”

“You heard her, she said she wasn’t lonely anymore, thanks to you. It was time for her to go.”

“But why?!”

“Kimihiro, I don’t want to lose you. You made me promise not to leave you, and I won’t let you give up that easily. I told you, I’m in love with you.”

“Shizuka…:

He hid his face in Doumeki’s chest once more, and a few short moments later, he passed out.