Have you ever felt like bitching your head off and singing your heart out at the exact same time? If you have in the past and/or currentally do, then brother (or sister) you and I be rowing da same boat, ya hear? 3nodding
Gah, I just don't get it. I must say that I am honest to goodness insane. Perfectly pissed yet blissfully blithe.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!?
*tactfully changes subject*
So, anyway, my weekend rocked. I woke at about 6-6:30 ish every morning which is sleeping in for me. I'd just spend another couple of hours sitting in bed re-reading my book, I Capture The Castle , a romantic romance-ish novel by Dodie Smith. I generally love reading books a second time through, but every time I sit down, it's all I can do to help but skipping ahead to the juicy parts. It is a beautiful story though and I've spent many the hours sitting in my front yard in the shade of our flowering trees, reading in solitude.
I read in the mornings after I had managed to pull myself out of bed, shower, and eat breakfast. I was only outside for a few hours though because around noon, the little children of the neighborhood come out and start screaming, but that was fine with me because then I still had my Chrissy to hang out with. I swear that kid played about 30hrs worth of Katamari Damacy over our three day weekend.
Sunday night was great. I hung out with a few of my cousins: Chris (of course), Mat, and Kayla... and Kelly and Bridget as well. It's always great to see the family. I mean, I see my family more than many people do, but every time we get together it's like we haven't seen eachother for years.
That night I got caught staying up late with Chris by my father. He had gone out to a party and come home early then Chris and I expected... so yeah, my dad was in a pretty good mood and let us off the hook until Monday morning. He gave me hell for being up that late and keeping Chris, who is younger than me by only a year, up and away from home for that long. blaugh I find this absolutely hilareous.
Monday we had our Memorial Day preformance at the American Legion. I worried Rachel, who thought I was going to die. You see, when I first arrived I was walking though the parking lot, looking for a friend to follow (because that's just what I do), and I ran smack into someone. I felt really stupid and apologized repeatedly. He smiled and said it was okay and that he was fine, but I still was really embarrassed and ran off to find a friend to hide behind... Which lead to me running smack into Rachel! (I honestly didn't see her either!) She instantly assumed that the heat was getting to me because she wasn't aware of my run-in with him and mistook my uncontrollable blushing and random tipsyness for red-faced, heat exhaustion.
We arrived an hour early just to warm up (which took us two seconds) so instead of waiting where the band was set up (in direct sunlight, mind you), Rachel pulled me out to the shade where the bulk of the bando's joined us. It was wonderful sitting there in the shade, listening to the seniors tell us about the Disney World senior trip and laughing with them for what may be the last time ever. Though, not all of the bandos came over to our tree. Some, like Mike, just sat there, all alone with nothing but his sax and music stand. I longed to join him, just for the hell of it, but everyone was talking to everyone else and I was quite seriously sitting in the middle of it all. So I just resorted to playing with a little green bug that I found and watching Mike from afar.
The ceremony itself was long and drab after spending so much time before hand goofing off with my friends and fellow bandos and when it finished, I made a quick exit to avoid further embarrassing myself. sweatdrop
I walked the two and a half mile walk home from the legion with my cousin Mat and dropped him off at his own home on the way to our third picnic of the weekend (I didn't write about the Blackman picnic because it was as drab as the Blackman's are). I drove my family out into the wilderness to see my mom's friend from high school. She and her husband live in the city but have a country trailer out in the middle of nowhere. Their piece of property is absolutely amazing. Their backyard is wide open and slopes gracefully down to a thick wooded area. There is a man-made lake about halfway to the edge of the mowed lot and it's full of tadpoles. The whole property is very nicely maintained; they even have paths cut through the woods that lead down to the creek and around their lot. Their front yard is filled with pine trees because it used to be a tree farm before they bought it.
So I spent the late-afternoon/evening crawling through those soft pine trees on my hands and knees with Kevin and Caitlin, catching tadpoles (and letting them go), hiking the 4-mile hike around their lot, playing in the creek with Phil and the afore mentioned siblings, cooking hotdogs over the fire pit and wrapped the whole night up with toasted s'mores. It was great. I don't know how, but after all the fun of Monday, I still managed to survive school today.
I am really ticked off about my stupid schedule for next year. They didn't automatically sign me up for Ap Chem and the completely scrapped the Japanese III and IV programs... which means....
I DON'T GET TO TAKE JAPANESE!
I really, really want to. I mean, I've done everything the stupid school has told me to for the past couple of years. I have taken all of the classes that the school has told me I need by this time and made sure there was plenty of room on my schedule for it.
GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
So yeah, I was pissed, and still am pissed... and probably will be pissed for the rest of forever. I seriously have nothing to look foward to next school year and Catholic school looks better and better all the time.
I mean, if I'm going to have to wear a uniform, I might as well go to a school with a better reputation. And if I'm not going to be taking any classes that I actually want to, I might as well go to a school that chooses the entire schedule for me. And if the school is just going to keep making cuts, I'd much rather go to a school that has money, even if I have to spend ever penny I have on it.
Yeah, forget the trip to Japan, I think I'll just save up for freaking Catholic school. Atleast there I'll be around good, sober people. Good God, I swear that I spent a good five minutes today after lunch trying to find a bathroom that didn't smell of alcohol or cigarette smoke so I could throw up the little lunch I ate. I HATE F-ING TOWANDA!!!
They just continously screw us all over and I'm sick and tired of it. scream
So yeah, I have bitched about that constantly... and I refuse to shuttup about it. Though, my pure, unadulterated rage (and my beloved Trina), helped me talk to Mike in the band room this morning. 4laugh He asked us if we signed up for Japanese III and told him that no one has it. It's good to know that other people are just as furious as I am. Shane, Mike, Mr. Henty even....
Though, sadly that doesn't matter ...
... and I'll never have Japanese again. cry
If I had known that, I would have made the most of this year. I constantly damn myself for not living the moment... damn, damn, Damn, DAMN, DAMN!
We have our party on Friday, so I guess I shouldn't count this year as over until that's over. I kinda wanted to go with Mike and them to see that Asian Food Market in Ithica (I've only been there once) but the seats filled up fast. Maybe, someone will drop out and I could take their spot... but with my luck, that's never going to happen. And even if it did, I doubt I'd be allowed to go.
We played "Accidentally in Love" in band today and I thought it was going to rip my heart out.. I love that song. And Trina, I really wish this little crush thing would go away... you're the lucky one. I don't know how much longer I can take this.
I guess it's kind of a good thing he's not going to be at band camp, because that would only create more difficulties... or make things better. Oh I dunno, I guess I just have to ride this whole thing out. Damn hormones! rolleyes
Sooooo... Yeah, I've very pissed, yet perfectly content at the exact same time. I can honestly say that I never felt this way before this school year... and I don't like it. These mixed feelings about everything are tearing me apart and that's only my school life. BUT because this entry is long enough as is and I'd rather not let anyone know anything, I'm not going to get into my home life....
Ain't life a crock 'a' s**t?
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