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My last entry... Most of it doesn't apply anymore. Wrote it in a spat of incredibly harsh emotions. I knew it would probably happen eventually, but that didn't soften the blow. I shouldn't have been angry with her, she didn't do anything wrong; everything that went wrong was my own fault, and I'm getting my just come-uppance for it now.

And it's done now. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it, sad, angry, desperate, anguished, pleading, pretty much everything has gone through my head in the last 24 hours.

In the end, my conclusion is basically this. I was selfish for sticking with it for so long. I made excuses with myself for it, and was wrong to do so. If I was truly hurtful, then I'm glad that I'm gone from her life. That's for her to decide; if she wants to forgive me, I would be grateful no end. I don't expect it, but I would love to know if she actually did, for me to know I wasn't pure evil. If not, that's life. I'll survive.

You know, I never really wanted to be a huge part of their relationship. I mean, there was the hormonal crap when I was much younger, all the stuff that comes with being a pubescent teenager, but I just wanted to be a friend. My greatest hope was to be Best Man at their wedding, if they ever get formally wed. I know, it probably sounds silly, but that was my hope.

Well, it's not happening now. I'll probably never see her again, either of them. I wish them happiness. Don't worry too much about me, focus on yourselves, eachother; live, love, and be happy. If you decide to forgive me, please. If you decide not to, then just forget me, let me fade away.

I'm mostly abandoning my DeviantArt account now. I gave my word not to contact them again, and since they're both there, contact would happen, so I'm going to disappear. They know how to contact me if they want to, so I'll just disappear until that day, even if it never comes.