As of Wednesday, I said goodbye to the best thing that has happened to me thusfar in life.
I'm okay with it now. I have a couple friends who helped me bear it, and I owe them thanks. Wednesday night, I spent most of the evening crying, one of my friends put what I was feeling very well.
"Then...it's over. She's made her decisions...evidently for quite some while. And she wants you to honor those decisions.
And you will have to grieve for a time. And there will be some scarring.
Platitudes such as; she wasn't the one for you, is not worth all this pain, there'll be others, let her go, you're sadder but wiser, etc., may all be true from a future viewpoint but right now would probably bring only bitter, scant comfort.
5 yrs ago? You would have been 11? Five years is a major chunk of your life, especially those years. She would have been a cornerstone of those years, influential and familiar. Pull out the cornerstone and the wall crashes down."
Shortly after, I broke down for a while. It was late at night, so I fell asleep despite it, the first time I've ever actually cried myself to sleep.
When I woke up yesterday, I had a different outlook. It was over, but how it ended doesn't undo what we had. We were friends for the longest time, I loved her for a long time, she gave me my very best memories. Days I spent at her house, her birthdays that I attended, games we played together, tender moments we shared... <i>That</i> is what I have to remember. She's gone now, but I will always love her memory.
I know we had good times. I treasure them, I'll keep them inside me. She wants nothing to do with me now, but, months or years from now, maybe she'll think back, and maybe knowing me will have been worth it. Maybe she'll remember some of the good things I did, the good things I was, rather than the bitter way we parted.
"Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed... And when you're feeling empty, keep me in your memory."
Lyrics from a song. A youtube to it, here, if anyone's interested.
DarkElf27 Community Member 
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