The Return
Pt. 2
Pt. 2
One of them shifts ever so slightly,
its scales the purest of black.
Behind its leg, standing there,
is the pure reason for why I am here.
She smiles and walks towards me,
her skin as radient as I can remember.
Her pale complection reflects off the scales,
so radient is her beauty.
Her lithe body wraps around my arm,
pulling me away from our friends.
The scenery changes drastically,
the trees and grass fade to sand.
The moon and stars bend where they are standing,
soon reflecting off a clear sea.
The moonlit beach is marvelous,
filled with the sound of the breakers,
cresting up on the white sand.
We lie on the beach, her and I,
and she begins to tell me of how much she misses me.
Her black hair cascades as she sits up to speak,
her sultry voice clouded with sadness.
She turns to me as she speaks,
her eyes glistening with tears.
I sit up next to her,
raising a hand to dry away those tears.
She was about to speak to me more,
but I could no longer bear to watch.
So I gently and slowly dipped my head towards hers,
and pressed my lips against hers,
shutting out whatever complaints she might've had.
The soft sunrise awoke me later,
reflecting off the white sand.
I smiled at our disturbance still etched into it,
the last time we would ever have.
Looking down at her as she laid there, kissing her gently.
I left my dogtags in her hand,
returning back to the world that needs me.
Community Member
a) He was dead to begin with and came back to comfert the girl
or
b) He was alive and this was like his last night with her until he went off to help someone else who needs him more.
Analysis was never my strong point but that's what I take away from it. I really liked it. Hope that I didn't insult you by commenting...or by attempting to analyze it and getting it wrong if I did.
: D I hope you write more.
I find myself writting happy poetry but it's a lot harder to make happy poetry sound good because it just ends up being cheesey. But some how you encorperated it into the poem well with out it being sappy so that it seems sad and yet happy at the same time ( I believe that is possible but correct me if I am wrong)
>> I hope you don't mind a bit of critisism but if you do just tell me and I won't do it again okay. Here it goes.
I believe that you shouldn't use radiant twice to describe her beauty I think it sounds juuust a little tiny bit redundant. But then again tis only my humble opinion (which I have to say doesn't actually mean that much to being with)
Like I said I hope you write more and I will have to find time in my busy school day to come by and read more (if that is alright and everything I mean I don't want to insult you in any way...although I feel like I already have T__T Gomen).
Keep up the good work! <3