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Don't you just hate it when you slave and work and exert effort into something forever and then nobody reads it? Well, it's a good thing I don't care that much about this journal. It's kind of sad really. Me. Alone. Spewing thoughts out to an empty room.

But thats okay! I'm real closed up anyway. So I prefer that nobody reads any of my thoughts. I learned long ago that if you tell anyone anything that actually matters to you, it can and will be used agianst you. Just how the world works. Thats not depressing in the least!

I looked at the world and said to myself "Self. If we at least try to fit in, it makes life a hell of a lot easier. The world doesn't like those who don't fit in." So I pretend, and I'm getting better at it, but sometimes I think I'm not fooling anyone... So I realize it's not about to change and try harder, and I get better. But I try not to loose myself, because eventually I'll get totally submerged, and not be able to find my way out. Which is not what I want.

I want to look like I fit in. So I hide my disgust and pain, and I can be happy. And I am happy. I have my music, chocolate, Starbucks, and fuzzy slippers. I can handle the world. You just have to know how to compromise. I've excepted that I'll be single my whole life, and end up about as succseful as my mom. I'll cross each hurdle as I come to it. Collage is going to be a problem, but I'll deal. I always do...