Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Some things just don't leave you. They sometimes sneak into my mind and I try to push then
out before they rip at my heart.
My father would come home, when he came home, angry, drunk, hung over, beat up sometimes with a bloody bruised faced from trying to pick up a chick at a bar, and the
husband or boyfriend of the girl didn't like it.
He would warn my brother that a belt beating was coming to him tonight. My brother
was about 10 years old. He loved giving him a heads up, so he would have to wait for it.
I remember at the age 5, sitting at the dinner table and my brother trying to eat while my
father talked about what a bad kid he was and his beating was going to be a good one tonight.
I will never forget looking at him at that dinner table, trying so hard to finish his plate.
Then later when my father felt like it he took off his belt. I would run outside to the end of
the yard and cover my ears. The screaming and crying of my brother hurt me so badly I
new I had to cover my ears.
My brother Jeff killed himself last year at the age of 45,
He never could heal his spirit.