Day of Novermber 27, 2007 Wisdom.
wahmbulance Lesson Learned: When playing sports that you're bad at in gym, keep an airy smile on your face at all times. Your team will still like you. wahmbulance
The day began with putting on the shirt I had bought from K-Mart over the summer, reasoning that it was only sort of cold out, so I needed something with only sort of sleeves. I looked in the mirror.
"This shirt is ugly," I realized aloud, trying to straighten it out.
"Your mom is ugly," the striped shirt replied rudely. "And so is your German Samurai Seal friend Schrodinger."
Outraged at this attack on my beloved German Samurai Seal, I decided to continue wearing UglyShirt in order to subject it to the horror that is Biology.
Our wreaths came in during painting, but I shied away from making them beautiful with artificial pine cone and berry decorations when the pine began conversing with my shirt. Gym was not much better, where I was scolded miserably for not being an athlete, as usual. Until I discovered, most pecularly, that if I smiled as I so royally screwed up, they would leave me alone. It was amazing.
I veered away from poor Victor Frankenstien today, but it only made the DreadedTorturePeriod come that much faster. I shuffled into the deathly cold chamber with a morbid and bitter feeling, eager for my revenge on UglyShirt and yet dreading the worthless lessons ahead. Quietly I sat, waiting nervously for the lesson to begin. And surely enough, soon BiologyWoman's voice rung through our ears like the sound of a sick cat dying of suffocation, he began howling from the agony of it all.
"Oh, foul creature!" he cried. "Free me of this eternal damnation!"
I corrected him, telling him that it was only a one-year course of damnation, and yet by mid TorturePeriod, I could not stomach any more as well. I leapt onto the windowsill and waved heroically to my peers. "Farewell, my poor friends! I shall see you in lunch!"
"Foul Creature of Earth Science!" BiologyWoman screeched at me, summoning her flying fish to seize me. "You must not leave!"
"Haha!" I laughed like Jack Sparrow, leaping from the window. With the combined help of UglyShirt, I took flight and circled the building, which was covered by gray clouds. The fish were following close behind, so I quickly dove into a window with golden rays of sunshine emitting from it, becking softly. The fish melted upon trying to follow me, and I landed safely in the art room.
On the bus, I examined cats. One was ugly, and I told him so with goodhearted honesty. "Cat," I said genially. "You are the ugliest of your kind I have ever seen. You make my stomach hurt."
"But I have a heart of gold," he protested. "Though I do hate Bie-Oh-Loj-Eeeee."
We became fast friends.
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