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Candy-Induced Coma
Random things that come to mind. :]
Love and Hope. (Sorry. It's long.)
"Love and hope are the inspirations we use to survive", he spoke softly as he brushed a free hand through her dark hair. Tucking his other hand beneath her chin, he drew her eyes to his. Seeing the tears in her eyes, fear and despondency touched his expression. Even though it felt to her like the first time in all of her life, he unbuckled his seat-belt and wrapped his arms around her for the seventh time that day, resting his chin upon her shoulder.
"If we lose both of them at once... We are nothing."




Every day, work gets more stressful. Today, just when I decided that I could carry myself with relief, I find myself being gossiped about. Two new girls were sitting in the break room when I came in. I was going to pick up my PDA, which I had forgotten in the rush to get back to work.
As soon as I stepped foot in the door, their excited chatter stopped. And their eyes flicked eagerly to me, disgust on their faces.
I was angry, more than angry. Enraged. A week of feeling nothing had passed. Now that it had,my emotions were running wild.
The one new girl called me 'the skinny white b***h who likes to whore herself out'. Where the hell are they getting this? These girls have been here for not even two weeks, and already they're calling me, someone they don't even know, a whore?
"What the hell are you talking about?!"
I was so angry. I yelled it.
"It's pretty obvious the way Walter and Dakari follow you around. The way they talk about you."
I couldn't say anything else. Walter must have been in the AP office, and heard me screaming. It took him very few seconds to find himself next to me, dragging me out of the break room. The next thing I knew, I was in his office, sitting on his desk...
Crying.
I couldn't tell him what they had said.
I couldn't tell him what I felt.

He let me calm down... He sat in front of me, and when the other managers came to see what was going on, he told them of the two new girls. That they had obviously provoked me. But that I wouldn't talk about it.
He had them leave, which I was grateful for.
My distress was in no way in need of an audience.

After I had calmed down, Walter and I went back into the break room. Ian, Dakari, Michael, and Zoe were there, on their lunches. Their happiness, their nonchalance washed over me. For the time being, I had forgotten about being the 'little white whore'.

Zoe had gotten a bag of peanut M&M's from one of the managers. Attached to it was a thank-you note, with her name on it. Walter, delighted to see the candy, immediately snatched it from her hands. He tried convincing everyone that it was his name written on the paper, and that the candy was his. By the time he was done with his little fit, we were all laughing so hard we were almost in tears.
I had settled down even more, listening to Walter talk about how he had heard the word 'Armageddon' about ten times in the passed three days.
"Oh my God, we're all going to die!"
And then he started yelling at Ian about how he must have some gift of premonition, for he had been dreaming that Target would start selling AC/DC sweatshirts; Which we started selling yesterday.
Ian, who is also an AP, and him spent the rest of the thirty minutes arguing about AC/DC.

Dakari refused to let me get a picture of him, saying that, "If you say you're having an ugly-day, then I'm having an ugly-day too!"
I'll get one of him. You just wait.

The rest of the day went by slowly. My mother had called me, telling me that she wouldn't be able to pick me up. Luckily, word passes on quickly when you tell a group of friends. By the time I was clocking out, Walter was there, telling me he would take me home. He made me laugh again, this time by yelling at the time-clock when it rejected his end-work punch.

When we pulled in front of my house, he had to slam his brakes.
I hadn't been paying attention to where we were going, and failed to tell him in time that the house we were ripping by was mine.
When he came to a stop, a bottle of hair gel rolled out from underneath my seat.
LA Looks.
I picked it up, and unscrewed the cap. Out of habit, I told him that I was going to eat his hair gel.
He laughed and yelled at me playfully to stop eating his hair gel.

It was at this time that I realized how easily I could be reminded of him.
Wii and 'Heroes' commercials on the TV. A passing man talking on his cell phone, saying, "I always worry about you... I love you", to the lucky woman on the other end. His brand of hair gel. Even the nonchalance that I was feeling earlier, I realized, reminded me of him, and the way I felt not so long ago.
I realized just how easily he could come into my life, without even knowing it, and cause my heart to beat in my ears.
How he could force the tears to come without even willing it.
How he could fill my mind with nothing but him. Even if he didn't want to be there in the first place.

I broke down. I curled into a ball. I let the despair wash over me.
I let the sobs rack through my body.
I didn't even bother to control what I was saying to the man next to me...
Finally, I told someone in full what had happened. Finally, he could understand completely why the normally happy and driven person before him had changed into such a broken, indecisive creature.

Walter said very few words.
But by the time he had released me from his fervent hold, my heart beat was normal. The tears had stopped. I was no longer uttering mindlessly about what had happened. What I had ruined.

After letting it all out to someone who loved me enough to listen and hold me... I felt better. And even though I know I still miss him, I'm not letting it rule me. My every emotion screamed for him not five hours ago. Now, I love him quietly. I hope patiently for his return to my life.

I hope for the future.
I hope... for the best.



As I watched him drive away, his cheerful grin back on his face, I couldn't help but smile, and wave to him in return.






User Comments: [4] [add]
mascara smiles
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Thu Nov 29, 2007 @ 03:59am
    User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.
    Wow.
    See that was the novel chapter.
    Yep, yep.
    I'm eager to read the rest of the story. o.o
    Anyways.

    ://
    <33
    What whores. D<
    Reminds me of my school.
    Don't listen to those bitches.
    :]

    Ahem.
    Now tell me that you 'don't want him any more than you already have him.'
    Tsk, tsk.
    -Giggles.-
    <333
    Get online. D:



commentCommented on: Thu Nov 29, 2007 @ 07:08pm
Yeah, I didn't really read it after I wrote it. I just posted it.
But now that I'm reading it again, it is kind of decent for a novel, I suppose.
A really boorrinngg novel. -Giggles.-
Hm. I am too.
xD

Yeah, what's ironic is the two girls that were talking about me go to my old school.
I never spoke to them, I just knew them, ya' know?

Ahem. Omfg. Woman.
I don't.
:]]]

Mm'kay? Mm'kay.

I am online, skank. You logged as soon as I got on.

//:



Oppressive Narcissism
Community Member
mascara smiles
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Thu Jul 10, 2008 @ 11:03am
Crazy how different things were just a few months ago .
Different, but not so different, you know ?
Hm .


User Comments: [4] [add]
 
 
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