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The Gnomes have started a vast inforation gathering plan. They are currently in control of FIVE major trunk lines and are track people through the use of websites. They have come a long way from when they used to steal shoes (those left footed fiends) and have started on replacing people with Gnome actors. Even now the information they know about the average person is astounding! They know where you live, your phone number, your shopping list, your websites viewed, your hair, eye, teeth, and nose colour. They know more about me than I do. Yesterday they delivered a message to my box. It said 50% off pickled pigs feet! I do not know why they want to cut off half of all the pigs feet in America or maybe the World. They know I am the grand-archduke-ambassador for the pigs in the WNFG5! How they knew about the secret hierarchy I can only guess, maybe it is the new clothes that came with the job, or the Ad we ran in the local paper. Either way the Gnomes are watching and they know.....In fact they are watching this now...I KNOW YOUR WATCHING ME> I HAVE THE X-RAY GLASSES AND THE DECODER RING. I CAN SEE YOUR SOUL AND STARE BACK INTO THE VOID THAT WAS YOUR ROUGH EQUIVALENT OF A HEART. I CAN SEE THE MOLE ON YOUR LEFT FOOT (YOUR OTHER LEFT FOOT) THAT IS SLOWLY GROWING TO LOOK MORE LIKE ELVIS EVERY DAY. I KNOW THAT YOU EAT TOASTED Mc CARMAL FLAKES WITH SWISS CHEESE FLAVOUR WHILE SITTING IN YOUR GRANDMOTHERS ROCKING CHAIR WHICH ONLY HAS TWO FEET. I CAN SEE YOU AND I WILL FIND YOU. JUST WALK TOWARDS THAT WINDOW THAT YOU THINK SO FONDLY ABOUT AND LET ME SEE WHERE YOU ARE.