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So, today was my day off and I decided to start my quest for the devil tail and also reopen my shop to supply funding for said quest. 3nodding It'll probably take me forever and a half to get a devils tail, but I am determined. I luff it and I need it.

I finally got a permanent internet connection a few days ago. I was going crazy without it. Its funny, because now that I have it, I don't know what to do with it. I just kinda stare and wonder what it is I used to spend so much doing doing. Oh well.

I finally got my letter of recommendation from my high school film teacher. It took me a month to get ahold of him, then another 2 weeks for him to send it to me, then I get it, and its literally the worst letter I've ever read. Not only did he spell my NAME WRONG, but the letter is talking about how much I love film. I explained to him on the phone that it wasn't a film program, but a multimedia program, which encorporates everything from film, to painting, to graphic design. I told him specifically that I didn't want a letter that just talked about film... I wanted it more to talk about why I would be a good student at the school I am trying to get into. Of course, I get the letter and its all, "OMG PATTI LOVES MOVIES LOLZ." No, not really... but it is really poorly written and is basically a manifestation of exactly what I didn't want. ("It is with great enthusiasm that I recommend Patricia McAlister to your program - and visa versa." HI THAT MAKES NO SENSE, TEACHER.) Fantastic. Setback #454358734.

I am going home to Philly to visit on November 6. I am excited to see all my friends. Yay! I am thinking about moving back to Philly. I can't handle the people around here anymore. I absolutely hate Portland and everyone who lives here. Gah. Its going to be difficult, though - for obvious reasons. Nick says he is willing to move with me eventually, but he won't be able to do that until the summer at the earliest. I'm afraid if I leave before then, that things will come up and he'll never move. I'm also afraid (and fairly confident) that if I stay here much longer, I will officially lose my mind. I am really lonely all the time, I barely go outside, and I feel like every day I'm losing more and more of myself. I knew when I moved out here a year and a half ago that it was going to be a huge change, and that I would be giving up everything that ever made me comfortable, but I never imagined that it would send me into the worst depression of my life. Some days I literally just sit and stare at the wall and think about how badly I just want to run into it and knock myself out. Wow, thats probably too much information. Gah.

ANYWAY... uh, yeah. Okay bye!