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i started thinking more about it, and it might be my anxiety. i've always been one to worry alot about things that i really shouldn't concern myself with. but then i always think "i have to worry about it... i have to make it better." i tend to concern my self with the debt of my momma. we have alot of bills and i always want to help her. even though my mom is the cause of alot of my anxiety (not just the bills). i'm always afraid that my mom doesn't really want me. i feel like sometimes i'm holding her back in life and i don't want to do that. i don't deserve to hold anyone back from anything. she wants me to see a therapist or whatever, but i hate telling other people about my problems. writing is the best way for me to get things out. 'tis why i post in here.... no one really reads this.
