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Megumi Say What?
I Need Some Fixing...
so basically, whenever i write something in here, it means theres something wrong. well this time, i guess i have two problems. not problems really, just little issues. once again, no one really reads this... like occasionally one or two people will and they never really say anything about it to me, so thats why i post in here.

okies, so i haven't really been feeling like myself. i feel like.... i'm just watching me live and not really living myself. like, on the outside looking in. i don't know why >.< i really hate this feeling. i feel like i'm not in control of whats going on around me. things have been happening that i just cant do anything about. everything is just so ******** up! i mean... i can just feel myself slipping away. my sanity or something... i don't know. i feel like i'm just inches away from another mental breakdown. im kinda afraid of that. every time that happens, i do something really bad and disappoint everyone around me. theres nothing i hate more than being a disappointment. i don't know what to do at this point. within the last two weeks, i've just randomly started crying for no reason. like, there was a reason, but it wasn't apparent. nobody knew what was wrong with me. i am just so unstable right now... i need some serious fixing.

another thing thats bothering me is that i've felt like i'm being replaced. i feel like someone else has taken the spot in everyones heart that was once mine. my best friends who weren't friends at all are now best friends and they've been doing things together without me. theres more, but i don't wanna say. its not that i dislike the people who are taking my spot, i just... feel like i'm not needed anymore. i'm slowly being replaced. and then when i told adrian about this, he just said "it'll be easier for them when you commit suicide since they don't like you anymore" that ******** hurt! he never said those kinds of things to me before, but i guess it doesn't matter. its all good... i guess. i'm just gunna have to deal with it. i really hope i start feeling better >.< i just feel like i'm in the way now, and it would be better if i just disappeared. i really want to disappear right now, but i'm afraid of being alone. i want to get out of everyones way, but i don't want to have no one. gah... life is overly complicated. it totally doesn't seem worth it.






User Comments: [4]
redmind200
Community Member





Fri Jan 25, 2008 @ 12:56am


k, let's get a few things straight here

1. I think there are people who defenitly read your journal, well, at least i do. i read it everytime you post something in it, i'm just not really good at leaving comments redface

2. Everyone has a period in his life in which he feels not really himself, or when you feel like a ghost. you walk around endlessly, you don't feel like you used to, you just wished it all would end. In your mind, you feel the darkness lurking, you wished someone would be able to see, but no one does. you hate to dissappoint people, everyone hates it to not being able to live up to expectations. Don't take is so hard, we're not perfect, but that's what's makes us special. we all have flaws, you can't always do the right thing, life isn't meant to be that perfect.

3. You can't be replaced, you're a special person, i don't know you very well, but from what i've read here and seen on your profi, you look like a really interesting guy, not someone you would be able to replace easily. Just because your friends are getting along well doesn't mean you'll get replaced. Their friendship is new, so they are really getting to know each other, that always makes it special and interesting. After a while, it will settle down and you'll be able to hang out with them.
don't give up hope, life is beautiful when the sun shines on your face, or when you're able to feel the wind in your hair.
if you would disappear i guess this world would loose one of it's precious persons.

maybe it's inappriote of me to say these things, since i don't really know you well, but i know you're a good guy. Hang in there, you'll be alright

~redmind~


Squeeze to adjust
Community Member





Fri Jan 25, 2008 @ 02:15pm


you need a shag xD.........and some pudding, vanilla pudding. And you need to get your a** on AIM and tell me when you're down Gumi. Pfhtt replace you, like anyone could do that.


ErosOmnia
Community Member





Wed Jan 30, 2008 @ 07:15am


No one could replace the place you have in my heart Skye, heart


BoyInPink
Community Member





Tue Feb 26, 2008 @ 01:10am


it sounds like you just need someone to love you and care about you its almost like your here but then agin your not becuase no bodie noteses you until you do something wrong its like your just their and your not important and the only way you can get attintion or feel important is if you do something wrong but you dont get the right attintion for doing it you alwasy get the wrong attintion but its still better then no attintion at all
its almost like being alive and dead at the same time you bodies here but then agin your not their
ya im probally so wrong about what im saying but idk i just know this becuase well thats how i am


User Comments: [4]
 
 
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