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Malacara's crazyness Journal
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when i was a freshman in high school, i told a good friend of mine that i loved her. she accepted my feelings, but did not feel the same about me. i was just a close friend to her, that was always there for her. i tried so hard to get her to like me more than just a friend. But, i scared her away. I didn't know when to stop. then she left, moved back to England as far as i know. i was lost and confused, depressed and borderline suicidal. i thought that i would never love again, or be loved by anyone else. i thought that i was to love out the rest of my life alone, in the darkness, forever. then, one day, my friend told me that this girl at work named Sarah liked me. i was surprised. some one actually liked me. i thought it was a cruel joke that my friend was playing on me, so i asked Sarah if it was true. she said it was true. i was so happy. i had seen a shimmer of light in the darkness that i was living in. and each time we went out together, hung out together, even just being together, for three years the light slowly began to grow, defrosting my cold heart. but i remembered from past experiences, not to get to close. for when its over, the closer you are, the more it hurts. so i kept my distance. unfortunately, in doing so, i lost her. i lost her trust in me, and her faith in our relationship. i felt that the one happiness that i had found in life, was gone forever. i was scared that i would go back to being alone, in the darkness. so we tried so hard to rebuild what we had lost, and make our bond with each other stronger than ever. but now it seems that im to close. i want to see her everyday, and spend as much time with her as i can. i want to be the cause of all her happiness. i want to be there when she is sad. but it is too much. im too possessive. im too childish. im too............me.






User Comments: [1] [add]
Barnett772005
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Wed Feb 27, 2008 @ 08:20pm
yes you are sometimes a little too possessive and childish but maybe that's because of the things that happened. there are times the you need to back off like there are times that i need to be closer or need to back off myself. the question now is what will we do about it?


User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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