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So today I was in college, and all day I felt in a right evil mood, I didn't care, I just wanted to get out, I felt like being shot or something stupid.

I feel as though in Bournemouth I have no friends. I feel as though my friends in Plymouth are not interested in me. Some are, some more than others.

I am well hating myself right now. For a while I turned into a right b***h, having things my way and taunting people, so as not to upset them, but to show myself not giving a damn about them at the same time. I guess I haven't been the happiest bunny.

I'm not sure what the problem is. Nothing has ever been as bad in my life since I was in secondry school. I have a good life right now. Is it because I've realised that I'm not much of a party animal as I thought I could be. I don't mind being a geek playing card games but I'd like to go out do more stuff too.

I guess I can easially sort that problem out. Right now my biggest problem is my evil personality. I'm usually a good person, but I've been a b***h to friends and even my step brother. I just want to be a good person, I fear its skitzophrenia. I only got a possibilty that I could have it. I need to check with a psycologist.

I won't let a posibilty of a personality fault get in the way. If I have it I can control it. Theres only me, and I will be a good person.

I wish someone would hold me and help me through this though. I miss my second family from Plymouth. I need a friend who acts like a big brother or sister to me. I really want a best friend, I haven't any.

Maybe if I had someone who I knew was there for me, and would help me, and play games with me all the time, I'd be a little happier.

Most of all I really need to stop taking it out on people. I do hate myself right now.

Maybe I should just stop talking or something.

Hug me?