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I will now be saying witty things in my journal.

If you care the chances are I don't.
Life is a b***h, ******** it.


Here is another joke
A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "If I show you something incredible will you give me a free beer?"
The bartender says, "sure, but I must warn you, I have been around the block a few times, it'll be hard to suprise me."
The man takes out a frog and a little piano, and the frog starts playing it. "wow," the bartender said. He gives the man a beer.
"If I show you another incredible thing will you give me another free beer?" says the man.
The bartender says "what can top that?"
The man takes out a mouse, and the mouse starts singing. "wow," He gives the man another free beer.
A man walks in the bar and sees the two animals and says, "I will pay you 1 million dollars for those animals." The first man says, "I am sorry but they are not for sale." The second man says, "fine, I will pay you 30 thousand dollars for the mouse." The first man agrees and gives him the mouse for the money. after the man leaves the bartender says, "why did you just sell him the mouse, He offered a million dollars" The man replies, "The frog is a ventriliquest"