When I was little I (day) dreamt about having my own "Prince Charming" galloping toward an enchanted castle on his handy steed, sword in hand, and readying himself to claim my heart. (Blame Walt Disney for this)But even then happily-ever-after seemed so foolish. Sure, what girl doesn't dream about a "Knight in Shinning Armor" and what guy didn't want a princess to call his own? But like I said, fairy tales are foolish.
I have my own story, though. It's not a fairytale or a beautifully woven love story, but it is filled with blushing and sneaking random (and I quote: EROTIC) comments in the middle of a conversation. Strange, because not too long ago I new I could gladly admit my interest to anyone except for Him, of course because that would be stupid and I didn't want to be stupid. Of course, it never crossed my mind that it would probably be a bit more stupid if he didn't know.
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We didn't stop talking, not even for a minute. There was constant chattering about this and that, interesting discussions, and conversations about things that would have been irrelevant to others. But, we never stopped unless (were being responsible and considerate of school) one of us was drifting off to La-La Land. But I fear my will grows weak when I hear his voice. Both weak and strong. Strong because there is an urge to take him and keep him for as long as I can. Weak because I find it harder and harder to fight against that will.
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Hypnotic. Enchanting.
Thats what his voice was. I wondered why I liked it so much. I've decided that it was because its gentle and soft, and patient but searchful. He isn't demanding when he speaks, just curious and overly inquisitive, and his voice is soothing and so damn sexy. On top of that, he is always at least a bit amused at me, though why I'm not sure. I like when he says my name (Whoa!!) and even when a chuckle escapes his lips when I say something stupid or completely random.
I thought that maybe my attraction to him was just minor infatuation (O.o interesting word. I've never been infatuated before). And usually when I first meet a person, there is a sense of respect but defensiveness on my part. But soon,with Him, respect grew to admiration and admiration, in turn, grew to something more.
I remember one day he asked me why I liked him aside from all the other guys (and girls?). Well, I can answer his question with my own:
`Why do you make me blush?
`What do you do to make me think of you?
`What do you do to make me look forward to even the slightest conversation with you?
` Why do I find myself wondering if you've thought of me today?
`Why didn't you give me my strawberry shortcake yet?
`Why do you make me smile even when I am hiding something?
`Why am I tempted? (insert sweatdrop emote here)
`Why does every gentle word you speak constantly rings in my ear?
`Why wont your questions let my thoughts go back to sleep?
If he can cause all of this then that should answer his question, right? And when I think of him I cant help but notice that it was near impossible to stop my captivation because he possesses endless generosity, and confidence. I see his strength in the mental sense. I think of him and his funny but considerate nature and his corniness. (I hate to admit that I love that part about him) And he is smart!!!
I think of how weird this is (for me at least) and why my cousin opened his mouth, and I love that chubby big-headed relative of mine for doing so. There is still a bit of uncertainty with this new relationship because it does have the potential to ruin our relationship as friends. There is one more flaw. I CANT TOUCH HIM! >.< lol I want my bunny huggles. oh, and a kiss. I wonder what that would be like. His kiss, I mean. Would be kissed if I were happy, excited, or sad? But never mind that. After all, a kiss could only mean so much. I' quite sure, even if I were sad, his voice would take the hurt away.
I don't believe I've made a mistake in dating him, but I am still hesitant. And I am staring at this entry open mouthed because I cant believe I was so mushy. When did this happen?!?! (I blame the King's corniness!)
