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I’m feeling pretty crappy today. Not only am I still fighting that bug, but the allergies are slowly creeping out on me. I find myself eyeing the grass and weeds everywhere I go, and while I’ve yet to have frequent attacks, I know they’re coming and that’s enough of a trouble on its own. I guess this year I actually have some allergy meds around for when it gets really bad, but I hate taking pills.
I had a fight with Casey this morning. She’s just always on my case, and all it takes is a little attitude or comment on my part to land myself in the dog house. I wish she’d take the damned omega-3 pills we have. I know they’re not the same kind as she’s used to, but it’d still be better than this s**t!
I made it to school today, except I let myself get psyched out about being late to my Spanish class, so I’m ditching it right now. I hate that! Somehow though, once I let myself realize I’m running late and it’s more than a couple of minutes, I just can’t force myself into the class room. Damn pride, damn depression, damn late nights….
Well, for tomorrow I’ve set myself a reminder, as if it were any other appointment I had scheduled, and if that works then I’ll keep one on until I get through this quarter and on to summer break.
It’s so close right now I can almost taste it. But the last thing I need is another bad grade to hit my GPA, and I don’t have time to repeat this class, especially not if I want to continue with Spanish through the 200 series.
God, why is life so hard?
I guess it isn’t really, but it feels that way right now. Seems like everything is coming apart at the seams and there’s no way for me to stop it. Or if there’s a way I’m too slow or too confused to accomplish it.
I hate this feeling!
Last night I wanted to just stay up all night writing. I was perfectly content sitting there with my note book, and the piece was really starting to take shape. I was on a role. Of course Casey has to insist we go to bed right then and there. That sucked. At the same time though, I wish we’d gone to bed about two or three hours earlier, because then I might have made it out of bed in time for class. There’s just no way to win.
I wish I could just be left to my own devices. So I could write all night and sleep all morning, and take care of the house and animals in the afternoon. Then Casey and I could watch movies or hang out in the evenings, and my life would be just about right. Fortunately that’s pretty much how it can be this summer. Except that I’ll have to convince Casey to let me stay up and write at night. I guess I could go to bed with her and then get up a couple hours later and come back to bed before its time for her to wake up. Of course I can’t tell her that, because if I do she’ll say she doesn’t want to know, and she wants me to be in the room and better yet next to her all night, just in case she wakes up and notices I’m gone. Cuz god knows that would be the end of the ******** world
Well, I’ve made it work in the past, I’ll make it work again. *sigh*
rolleyes