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Told by a boy
I've had a lot of time to think about my life lately. It fascinates me to think and picture all the different things I want to experience. Most of which are with some one else, in the romantic sense. Like(I think a list would work, especially since I want to be able to look back and maybe check off a few later if they happen), if anyone reads this I apologize for the sappiness. I'd want to be pulled gently into a kiss before walking away, either in outrage or purpose. To look him in the eyes as he runs his fingers through my hair, not saying a word. One of my favorites, as seen in dozens of sappy romance flicks, laying with my head on his chest as we watch a movie on the couch. I see things in media outlets, no matter what delivery, that make me think of how I'd want to be put in it. Most times its always the submissive role, OMG, big effing surprise. Most random people look at me and see this six' two" brunette who doesn't put up with anyone's s**t. True enough but outside of stressful situations I'm really docile and... to put it bluntly, soft. I'm that boy you see in class or on campus who sits and daydreams about having the best kiss in the pouring rain with the guy of his dreams. Toldya, sappy. So besides me being total puddy to advertising, I guess I'm just like everybody else, I just want someone to put his arms around me and tell me nothing's going to hurt me. Of course saying any of this around my friends would result in my rep being shattered and all the crap they'd dish out. I think some might know I feel like this, but as long as I never say it aloud nothing will be said. Sometimes I want that though, what do I do then? If something's bothering me and I want to talk about it, I first want my friends to WANT to know. Not just the "O damn, he's being weird again something's up what is it?" I dunno. I'm just like that. It's like the song Silence, by Olivia Broadfield, I've got a lot of that song in me. That's how I am. Not all this is good blogging btw, there is the bad too. Like I can never make an important decision when I have to. I always make a choice, then I start second-guessing myself, lather, rinse, repeat. I'm always worried about what I'm gonna screw up next, or how I'm gonna mess up my happy situation this time. It's a tad conceited but I want my friends to tell me what to do every once in a while when they think they know what's best for me, even if I don't. Another conceited thought, if something's up with me and say 2 of my friends know something about w/e it is, I'd like to think they'd talk about it with each other. I D K. I never do really. It's such a bad habit. Well that's all I wanted to say. Just my sappy little ramble about me being a big softy. But seriously I want my kiss in the rain. I wasn't even playin when I mentioned that.
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