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My mother gone to california this time with out warning. I'm tired of her going places and not knowing when she'll get back. I sometimes believe she may never come back. She called a few days ago but i refused to talk to her. I was that mad that i didn't even say hi. Lately I've been thinking of trying to do something that will make her stay like cutting my wrist or running away. The only thing standing in my way of do those are that i dont have a razor and if I runaway they will be able to find me, plus schools about to start. People already think i cut because my wrist are covered up all the time and because of my drawings of people killing one another. You know what I think i'll do it. I'll start cutting my wrist. I'm tired of people making desicions for me and not letting me choose. Well now i've chosen. Don't worry i don't plan on killing my self. But if I do by accident i want you to know im afraid of death and I'm sorry to every one especaily my boyfriend.