This story is actually based of of that of two friends of mine. One was suicidal due to what he suffered at home, and the other the only one of us who was really there for him helped him gain his life back.
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Caden walked slowly through the empty park. He walked a if he was dragging himself, body hunched over, his cheeks stained with tears. He was covered in black from head to toe, as he always was. He heard his name being called in the distance; he lifted his head. His hazel eyes appeared empty, dark circles surrounded them; proof he hadn't been sleeping. He saw a figure step from the darkness, into the light of a nearby street light; a slight heaviness was lifted from his heart. Caden staggered towards him, almost falling into his arms.
"My god, Caden" Caden looked up, his eyes met a kind set of blue eyes. They belonged to Darin, Caden's only friend in the world.
"What the hell did you do to yourself?!" Darin demanded, holding up his wrists. Caden stared at his scared wrists that still throbbed with a dull pain, still present was the bloody medical bracelet; he lowered his head onto Darin's chest. "Damn it Caden, you promised me! You promised me you'd stop" "I'm sorry…this is the last time it'll happen…this is the last night I'm gonna feel like this. I promise" Caden said. "Just…don’t leave me alone Darin…please" Caden sobbed out, wrapping his arms around Darin's waist, clinging to him as if his life depended on it. "Why did you call me out here…it's late, you need rest" Caden looked up again. "I just…I came to say goodbye. I didn't even want to come because…when I tell you what I wanna say…" his tears started up again. "You’re the only one who cares about me…you’re the only one I have"
Caden had become suicidal lately. He had been hospitalized numerous times, beaten for no reason at all. His Father blamed him for everything, and all his mother bothered to do was stand by and watch. She didn’t care; Darin knew this. He knew Caden had given up on fighting back, seeing as how it only cost him more pain. Darin felt he failed him, it was the most awful thing he ever felt.
The two shared a close-ness, a bond. Caden wrapped his arms around him, embracing him. "Don’t leave me alone" Caden said, tears streaming down his cheeks. Darin lifted his head and whipped away his tears, pushing his messy black hair from his face. "Stop crying…please" he said. The two lost track of each other the past week or so, they got into an argument, said things they didn’t mean; all over a kiss. Caden had grown emotionally and physically attracted to Darin. Darin understood him, he didn't think of him as a freak like the other kids did; like his family did. He didn't see him as another hopeless case, a person beyond all help. He saw him as a person who was loosing his will, who was in desperate need of help, but his screams fell on deaf ears; he was screaming into an empty abyss.
"Listen to me Caden" Darin said sitting him down, he knelt in front of him taking his hands. "This is the last night your going to be alone, I want you to come stay with me. That way I know you'll be safe" Caden lowered his head, gripping his knees, fighting back his tears; his eyes ached from crying so much. Darin placed his hand over his, using his other to lift his head, there eyes met but Caden turned away; Darin forced him back. "Look at me" Caden looked back. "You know that don’t you…I'm not gonna leave you alone. I made that mistake once before and I almost lost you…I wont do it again. I…I love you too much" Caden's eyes widened at his words. "I'm sorry I lied about…not feeling anything for you. Truth is, I do…that’s why I let you kiss me that night, I just got scared…that’s why I pushed you away and shut you out. You understand?" he asked. Caden nodded and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, resting his forehead against Darin's.
Darin moved his arms around Caden, the two sat there holding each other for a long time. Distant thunder sounded in the distance and the winds picked up. Darin stood, helping Caden to his feet. He took off his jacket and placed it around his shoulders, holding him again. "I'm not gonna let you go again…so don’t be afraid" Darin said as he turned, keeping his arm around him. Caden buried his face into Darin's shoulder, holding his arm tightly as the two walked back to Caden's apartment.
Caden was fed, and given clean clothes to sleep in. "I don’t wanna go back there Darin…never" Caden said pulling his knees to his chest, clutching them tightly. Darin sat beside him, using a towel to dry his hair. "You don’t have to go back, I want you to stay here with me. Please" Darin said. "Will you let me stay…forever?" he asked. Darin smiled and leaned in kissing his cheek. "Of course" Darin noticed another bruise on the back of Caden's neck, his face darkened. "He hit you again?" Caden nodded. "He got a parking ticket today…said it was my fault" Darin shook his head. "And…my mother..she's been sending me to counseling again…says this is all just a phase im going through. She swears I'll be ok if I just try" Caden lifted his head and turned to him.
"But I wont be ok Darin….I wont…I'll never be ok"
"You will be ok…I'm gonna be here to protect you…I'm not gonna let you give up" he said. Caden clung to him, his tears started again. "Ive already given up…I wanna end this life, I cant do it anymore… I don’t wanna do it anymore. There's just too much pain, my heart cant take anymore" Darin's heart sunk at his words, he felt so helpless.
Darin laid Caden down, covering him with the blankets. For the first time, in a long time, Caden felt he could go to sleep and not be afraid he would wake up to an angry face and a strong fist for oversleeping. "Stay" Caden said, gripping Darin's hand as he went to leave; that was all he had to say. Darin laid beside him, Caden turned towards him his eyes burning into Darin's. The pure sadness they emanated killed Darin, he wanted so much to ease the pain he felt, he wanted to take it all away; he wanted Caden to smile again. Caden's hand slipped into Darin's, gripping it tightly as Caden's lips brushed softly over his. Darin wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close, there lips pressing against each others; the two engaged in a passionate kiss. Even after they broke the kiss, Caden still clung to him, refusing to let go. "What time is it" Caden asked softly. "Almost 1am" Darin said stroking his hair tenderly. "Why do the nights seem so long…" Caden. "Do you think…death will seem like a long time too? Or does time…stand still?" Caden asked. "Don’t talk like that" Darin said giving him a squeeze.
"I wonder what its like…" Caden closed his eyes.
Later in the night, Caden woke to the sound of a heavy rain. He sat up and watched Darin for a long time. He ran the back of his hand down his cheek, his fingers ran through his hair. He was grateful for Darin, more grateful then he was for anything in his life. But, Despite everything, he truly believed he was beyond all hope of gaining his life back. "I'm too far Gone Darin…you can't save me" a single tear fell down his cheek. "Thank you…thank you for trying" he laid back down, resting his head on Darin's hands. He reached out, cupping his cheek. "I love you…I always will. I just…can't do this anymore" he whispered. "I wanna stop hurting, I want this horrid pain to stop…you have to understand that its killing me…its eating away at what little of my soul I have left" Darin stirred in his sleep. "And…no matter how much love you give me Darin…it wont ever heal the damage that’s been done to me. Nothing will. You’re the only one who will remember me.." He closed his eyes. "Your going to be the only who...will ever remember Caden Matthews existed, the only one who will remember why he cried…the only one who will remember hearing his screams, and being the only one to respond, the only who to care. Don’t even bother telling my parent's…they won't miss me. He leaned in and softly whispered "I'll always remember you Darin…and, no matter how long it takes…I'll wait for you" with that, he softly kissed his lips, another tear falling down his cheek.
"Don’t…forget me..."
Darin woke, realizing Caden wasn't beside him he grew concerned. It was barely dawn, the sun wasn’t even up. He grabbed his jacket and ran outside into the brisk autumn air, he searched the park first; it seemed to be Caden's favorite place. After about an hour of searching and calling out his name, he was about to move on, when he remembered that whenever Caden wanted to be alone, he would go to the deepest part of the park where there was an old gazebo. It was old, covered in vines; Angels were carved into the wood. He approached the gazebo, his heart skipped a beat when he saw Caden lying on the ground, a bloody razor was nearby, his hands completely red, his dark blue pajamas soaked in blood. "Caden!" Darin ran to him, and scooped him up into his arms, his body was cold, the blood on his clothes felt like ice. "Caden, damn it no! Don’t you leave me!" he shook his body, trying to wake him up. Finally, Caden's eyes fluttered open, and for the first time, in a very long time Caden smiled. "Darin…" he said softly, his voice was rhaspy. "Caden...damn you…" Darin's eyes swelled with tears. "You ******** promised me! You promised!" he said clutching his body close to his. Holding his body up with one arm, Darin slipped his jacket off and wrapped Caden in it, trying to keep him warm.
"You have to stay with me Caden, don’t leave me…"
"I can't stay here…I don’t belong here anymore" Caden said softly, his leaning against Darin's chest. He nuzzled against him, enjoying the warmth and the steady, comforting beating of his heart. "Stop that! Of course you do, you belong here with me…don’t you understand that I love you Caden?" he asked, Caden nodded."Darin…remember, last night…when you said…I could stay with you and I said…forever? And you said yes…?" Caden asked, his strength was fading. "Yes, but why?" Darin asked, ripping part of his shirt, wrapping them around Caden's wrists, trying to stop the bleeding, but the cuts were too deep and there were far too many. "Hearing you say…yes, was the first time I…ever felt like…I was home" Darin shook his head. "Stop talking…save your strength, I gotta get you to a doctor" Caden shook his head. "Let me go Darin…I…I wanna go" he said, forcing himself to keep his eyes open. "I'm not gonna let you go!" Darin said. "Don’t you…love me Caden?" he asked; Caden nodded. "Then why do you wanna leave me?" he asked. "You…you have so much love to give…Darin, don’t waste it on me…don’t waste it on someone…who is too far gone from this world to…feel anymore.." he summoned his strength and lifted his hand to Darin's face, running his blood stained fingers over his lips, Darin took his hand and held it too his cheek; his hand was so cold and pale. "Please…stay with me…please" He felt Caden's hand go limp, he opened his eyes, looking down at Caden. "You made…my last days on this earth...the happiest of my life…and for that, I can't… thank you enough..." he forced himself to smile again, before closing his eyes "I love you darin…with whatever I have left…I love you…"
"I love you"
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