6 months. That's all I have left. Half of a year. It seems like a long enough time until they tell you that you're dieing. Then it's like the time shrinks, and is suddenly not enough. I cried when I got the news today. I cried the tears that I didn't cry when I got the news. It was like suddenly my soul opened up and let loose this flood of pain and heartbreak. Like a dam had broken in my soul and let loose a torrent of tears. I have cancer and it's incurable and fatal. There is no cutting it out and I'll be magically cured. For me, there is no happy ending. Eventually, my mental capacities will fail. At least, that's what the doctor told me today. I got the whole run down today, and it scared me. I figured I'd be fine until one day, I ceased to exist, but I learned today that will not be so. I dread that day when I lose my ability to write in my journal and tell you of my journey. I must tell my boyfriend, but how? How do you tell the man you love that you are dieing? He must know that something is going on, for I sleep all day now these days. I only get up to write in my journal somedays. Well, once again, my eyelids grow heavy, so I must be off.
 Careless_Me · Sat Nov 08, 2008 @ 01:10am · 0 Comments |
