Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

If you're trying to find a ninja, (make sure you have a written will and you've said goodbye to everybody you love, unless you can bribe a ninja or beg him to be your slave) these are the places they're most commonly found, how do I know? Well let's just say I've lost a lot of interns

* Behind you
* In front of you
* In the shadows of you and your loved ones
* The tree in your backyard
* Inside your mind
* In small villages
* In your bath tub (under the bubbles!)
* In your clock
* Anywhere you can't see
* In this spot | | (whilst you looked at this spot, you got pwnt by the ninja. Bad luck
* Behind your computer monitor, OH DEAR LORD RUN!!!!!
* Michigan
* In Japan (Only attempt to go there if you really, really want to get killed, by a ninja.)
* In your PJs, waiting to shnoof you.
* In your pants

THE CODE OF THE NINJA

Ninji tend to send us codes of what they are planning to do to you; however, most humans simply cannot comprehend these messages with their feeble brains. Here are a few that we have taken the liberty to translate for you.

* You "see" a Ninja somewhere = Prepare to die
* A Ninja makes eye contact with you = Prepare to die
* You are performing your daily routine like a good cyborg does = Prepare to die.
* A ninja shakes your hand = Have a nice day... then you're going to die.
* Other = Prepare to be mutilated (long, fancy way ninji say prepare to die)
* You come home to find a ninja reading the paper and using your toilet = You can't knock on the freakin door? Prepare to die.
* You see an innocent-looking old man walking toward you, desperately asking you for help = Run if you want, but he'll catch you up anyway. (Ninji usually disguise themselves as old men, which increases their cool factor)
* A Ninja finds you playing Naruto: Rise of A Ninja = Prepare to Die and then the Ninja will beat the game in less then 4.34 seconds.
* A Ninja flips you off = Same as above and below
* You do NOT see a ninja = Prepare to die
* If you don't know where a fart came from = prepare to die.
* If you are a ninja = Prepare to kill someone.
* You smell something horrible = Prepare to die, this ninja does not bathe
* If a ninja sees you playing Ninja Gaiden on the Xbox 360 = Prepare to die multiple times, then the ninja will swiftly take your Xbox 360, as a trophy
* You have seen a premonition = Prepare to die (freak accident involving a ninja)
* A ninja takes you out for dinner = Prepare to dine in hell.
* You write this sentence = prepare to d---
* You attempt to speak with ninji with a "naruto" accent = prepare to die. Believe it!
From uncyclopedia.