Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

i've heard that there is a monster inside of everyone, the more and more time goes on, the more and more i find it believable. not because of my own experiences, but from that of my gf's, and i myself. she's often said she's terrified of guys because they usually end up hurting her in one way or another. she knows she can trust me, that i would never do anything to ever hurt her. but one who has inflicted the most damage is her old boyfriend from a few years ago, the worst of the worst. his monster was very apparent, he would beat her, make her feel like s**t, as well as other things. his name alone makes me murderous, luke. now i know many lukes, but just his particular name makes me want to kill. i've never known i had a monster.........until i met her, whoever would do her harm now would unleash my monster, and chances are, it would be the last thing they ever see. i remember when she first told me about luke i felt this surge of massive rage go through me. however he is no problem at all anymore, it seems that he has moved to arizona for 4 years for college, however he occassionally comes back for vacation, his current gf is suffering the exact same from him as my gf used to. knowing that he is still doing this just kills me to know he's still out there. she told me that 2 months ago she saw him at the store and he just glared at her devilishly as if to say "i would do it all again if i had the chance". if i saw him glaring at her i would glare at him the same way with not a trace of fear.

even though he's gone away, i still want him to die slowly, and horribly. i tihnk he's probably the only one who could ever bring out my monster, the real wolf demon. i've been having fantasies of killing him........alot. one where i have a gun to his head and he cowers moments before i pull the trigger. another where he's dying at my feet before me as i just glare at him and walk away. whats happening to me? i know i could never kill anyone no matter how much i wanted to, the only way would be if he would ever do anything to her ever again. i still want him dead though, i would give anything for him to grovel at my feet in a pool of his own blood before he dies alone. it'll never happen, i dont want it to happen........................but if only he would pay.................pay dearly.