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BloodKatana's Twisted Thoughts
Thoughts that appear in my mind, nagging me to write them down. It could be about my crush, friends, even myself, but all I can do is grab a pen and scribble it down.
The Beginning of an End
Senior year, that last year of high school every freshmen starts counting down to on their first day. The most anticipated year of our learning experience with the overrated, over played prom as our last hurrah, and now that it’s almost here I have come to the conclusion that I don’t want it to come. I just wish the clock would start ticking backwards and I’d be dragging my tired feet through those bluish gray doors of South Plantation High School for the very first time because I don’t want to end. Truthfully I’m not excited to be a senior next year, I’m actually sad and dreading it because for the first time I’ve realized I’m going to have to say good-bye to all my friends as we take our exit on the road of life, which will send us down a complicated path of finding our place in the world and away from each other.

The all too horrid day when I will have to walk across a stage, shake the hand of the principle who has already shook a hundred others, take a piece of paper that is suppose to represent the diploma we will later receive in the mail, and have to say good-bye to the friends that have been by my side through thick and thin, despite how cliché that sounds, with tears streaking down our flushed cheeks as we make fruitless promises of keeping in touch with each other, even though we now have so many different ways to communicate. This day is known throughout the world as graduation, but it’s more like a funeral for all of the friendships that are being left behind. I may only be a junior at the moment and many people are probably wondering why I’m having a total panic attack/break down at the moment when I still have a whole year left, but before I know it I will be sitting in the sea of polyester cap and gown clad kids listening intently for my name to be called.

Another obstacle you’d have to factor in is that I now have to figure out what college is right for “guiding me down the road of life,” note all sarcasm laced in these words, to educate me and help me find “my full potential in this dog eat dog world.” To me finding a college is almost like I’m being classified for a certain click, again, but it’s not as easy as simply saying this person wears all black and listens to death metal so they go here, while the other overly happy, pink loving girl goes here. Now is when I have to step back, sit down, and ponder where exactly my exit is going to take me; I mean, maybe I want to be a famous author, or a graphic design artist that does all the special effects for movies, hell I could even want to be an actress on Broadway, though I do freeze like a droplet of water in 32 degrees temperature, but hopefully you get my point of finding a college is all about having that defining moment that brings you to self discovery. I have had that moment, though it hasn’t taken any of the stress off me with having to worry about getting good SAT scores and discovering what colleges out there offer what I need.

Yet my mind doesn’t seem to want to grasp onto the reality of how life altering these decisions are when thoughts of having to release some of strongest bonds I have ever made with anyone are continuously plaguing me. I am not some crazy happy go lucky girl who believes praying and wishing upon a star can make me go back in time or slow it down, so I know what’s to come is inevitable, I just want my friends to know that these last four years, maybe even longer for some of them have be the most amazing years of my life so far and without all of them I wouldn’t be as confident with myself as I am today because side by side we have all helped each other grow into who we are now and no matter if we are still friends twenty years from now or have gone off on our own, I want all of them to know that I am thankful for their friendship and that I love each an every one of them. I guess I’m just going to be my pessimistic self and say next year will not only be the start of my senior year, it will also be the start of the end of a chapter in my life that I am never going to forget.

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  • User Comments: [1]
    Community Member

    Fri Feb 27, 2009 @ 10:15pm

    So true, so true.....

    User Comments: [1]
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